Heart Attack

Book 2: Chapter 1

Hi, I first posted the second book as a separate story on here, but I just combined them. So, some of you will already have read these chapter.

For the new readers: Welcome and I hope you enjoy!

Jesse

A year after she had left, she published had her second book. A year of no texting or calling each other, she had sent me a first edition of her book. The dedication was written to me, and she had signed it. I had sent her a special bouquet of flowers to congratulate her on her future best-selling book. I had read the book in one day. I had pushed everything aside and crawled on my couch and read. And I was right. Her book became an instant best-seller when it hit the shelves. I followed her professional Instagram page and followed her news updates of her books, but nothing about her personal life came up there. So, I didn't know how she was doing, what she was doing. I felt completely shut off from her. Beside the book, I hadn't heard anything personal from her. But she had sent a basket of specials beers to the guys on the team who were graduating. We saluted in her name, before I made my way upstairs and crashed. That year after she left, I was a complete mess. I had such a hard time, I almost pushed my friends away. But they stood by me and gave me time to put myself together again. But every day, she stayed in my mind. Wanting to know what she was doing. If she would write another book. If she would come to the UK anytime soon.

It's been three years since I stood on these grounds. I turned around taking in the colouring of the leaves. The sky for once clear and blue, instead of grey and rain. I remembered the last day I was here. This grass field I'm standing on was covered with foldable chairs, row after row. In front a stage where we would stand on to receive our degree. I was the first one to get a degree. And I had looked over the crowd in search of her. But she wasn't there. She was never there. My eyes shifted to the spot where we had danced together on the music of the acoustic guitar. It was where I was standing right now. After Bryn got his degree, he accepted the degree of Lennox in her name. She had proceeded to do all her assignments and exams while in Australia.

I closed my eyes, and the sound of the acoustic guitar filled my ears again. I could feel how perfectly she fitted in my arms. The smell of her still stuck in the air. I got see the shadow of her past float by me. It hurt. Even after three years, it fucking hurt. She was the love of my life. And even to this day, I still feel like that. Lennox wasn't just a fleeting crush. She's the one who stole my heart and never returned it. Even after three years, I missed how she would curl her body around me in bed. How I woke up with my nose nuzzled in her neck or her sprawled over me. I still reached out in search of her, but the bed stayed cold and empty.

My time on Real Madrid kept me busy though. The training was excruciating but fulfilling. I made some great friends there. I had signed a contract for three years, but I was just over my two years when I had an injury I couldn't recover from to play on the field again. The loss of football wasn't as hard as I feared it might have been. The moment I was out of my contract, I started my own business. With the help of my granddad and my father (the last one is shocking, I know) the company grew in one of the biggest environmental companies in Europe. One of the biggest ones, bigger than mine, was the company Lennox and Bryn's mother started. In the past few years, the company exploded! They had changed the name and added extra projects under it. It was one of biggest competitors. Because of that, I saw Bryn and Keith on regular basis. In a friendly way, I might add. I still came by on holidays and birthdays. Or just for Keith's amazing cooking.

In those three years, I haven't dated. I only hooked up about four times in 43 months. I didn't have the time. And I wasn't ready. Not only for the idea of getting hurt again because I was still hung up on her. I was still in love with the woman I haven't seen in three years. Maybe one day that would change.

Lennox

I haven't spoken to him in years. And still I missed him as I scrolled through his Instagram account. He didn't post as much as a few years ago but he was still active. At least I could follow him a little through his account. The first year after I left, I wasn't myself. During the day, I could keep myself busy on the boat and with our cleaning projects and the animals. But the moment I was alone in my hut, I broke down. I had told myself I wouldn't cry over Jesse Abbott anymore. But during that year, after that heart crushing goodbye, I couldn't help myself. Because what if I made the greatest mistake in my life? What if – I had to stop myself from thinking about what if's because it wouldn't help me. I chose to be here and beside Jesse had signed a three-year contract with Real Madrid. So, he would be travelling anyway. It wouldn't have mattered if I was here in Australia or back in the UK. Wyatt tried to help me through it, but I had pushed him away. I needed to do it by myself.

I knew Bryn and Jake still had contact with him. And even my father and Eline had invited him back to our house to celebrate the holidays. And in those three years, due to our busy schedules, we never were at the house at the same time. My year in Australia turned into two years with a break of four months for my European book tour. After that I had spent a year in New-Zeeland working and writing on my fourth book.

After that a lot changed. I stepped into our family business. Watson's Clean-Team. And since I and Bryn had jumped on board, the company had expanded. Watson's Clean-Team is now a part of Watson's World Solutions or WWS. WWS has several projects under its name among others: Watson's Clean-Team, that cleans beaches across the UK. Watson's Eco-Clean, that are our eco-friendly products. Starting from dishing soap to shampoo and earpicks. Then we have B&L Eco-Office. It was the first project Bryn and I worked on together. Larger companies could hire B&L Eco-Office to reduce unnecessary waste on the work floor. From reusable cups and straws, to recycled printing paper. And a few other projects to help the environment.

Due to my involvement in the company, Bryn and dad e-mailed me a lot of contracts and documents when I was abroad. Some of them were from Jesse's company. I smiled thinking back on the day his company went public. He was really living his dream. And he was good at it. His company skyrocketed. I was so proud of him that my heart nearly burst out of my chest. I knew with us both in the environmental business, we're bound the bump into each other one day. But for now, Bryn and dad regulate all of that.

I glanced at the framed photograph on the wall in my beach house in New-Zeeland. It was the picture of me and Jesse when we danced, under it, it said: This is what true love looks like. Don't give up on that. - Love, Riley. Riley had gifted it to me after my book got published. And ever since my second book, he was my permanent editor. I even became godmother to their second son, Kai, six months ago. Every day I looked at that picture. Every morning I thought I would find that again. Every night I wondered if I had let the best thing to ever happen to me slip through my fingers. Maybe one day, I'll be ready to leave him behind.