Heart Attack

15

Lennox

The next morning when I woke up, I noticed how warm I was. When I slowly opened my eyes, I knew it was because of Jesse. He had his arms wrapped tightly around me as he had pulled me nearly on top of him in his sleep. I lay half on his chest and thighs, my head resting on his chest. So were my hands. I could feel his steady heartbeat and the slow rise and fall of his chest. He looked so beautiful when he was asleep. So at peace and without a care in the world. I couldn't help but run a finger over his stubble. When I noticed his heartbeat picking up, I knew he was awake. I rolled off him and hopped out of the bed. I knew he was awake, but he pretended to be asleep. That may be for the best for both of us. I tucked on my shoes but before I walked to the door, I glanced back. I couldn't help but kiss his cheek softly.

"I hope you have the life you always dreamed of, Jesse Abbott." I whispered before I hurried out of the room. He didn't follow me. He didn't call or text me on my way home. Or in the next few days. I didn't hear or saw him at all until it was the day of the football charity event. Where he had rallied the football team together to play a few games to raise money and awareness. But that was possibly for the best, since he was getting married, and I had a second and third amazing date with Charlie.

Jesse

After Lennox left the hotel room. I stayed in bed for another hour, trying to get my head and heart to calm down. It didn't work. I called Bryn and Jake when I finally got in a taxi a few hours later. Asking them to meet me. Lily wasn't home when I got there. She would be gone for most of the day. An hour after I arrived, Jake and Bryn walked in. The looked around warily.

"Don't worry. She isn't here." They relaxed visibly.

"What's going on, Jesse?" Bryn asked as they sat down on the other sofa. "You sounded really panicked on the phone." Bryn looked worried but Jake looked at me with a knowing look.

"I -" I jumped from the couch and started pacing, rubbing my hand over my neck. "I don't know if I can marry Lily." BOOM! There was the bombshell. I looked to my best friends. They didn't look surprised. Not even Bryn. When they didn't say anything, I said. "Well?"

"It was about time you figured it out." Jake said.

Bryn looked more resigned. "Why don't you want to get married, Jesse? Is it because of your doubts about Lily or is this about Lennox?"

I dropped back down on the couch. "I don't know. Both?"

"You are one of my best mates, Jesse. But you need to know what you want."

"Do you love her?" Jake asked. I looked at him, blinking a few times. "Lily." He clarified.

"I do but -" I took in a deep breath. "Not nearly as much as I love Lennox." I finally admitted out loud. Bryn looked at me expressionless.

"Like I told you. Think about what you want. Lennox is finally dating a guy that could be serious. Charlie could love her like she deserves. I don't want you to mess this up because you are conflicted."

"I know." I said softly. "I just don't know if she feels the same way."

Jake had his jaw clenched. In anger or in fear of spilling something, I don't know. He took in a deep breath. "Then talk to her."

I nodded. But my mind was already going in overdrive. Jake and Bryn must have noticed because they stayed quiet and took out their phones. But even if they were talking, I was sure I wouldn't hear them. Because in my mind replayed all my memories with Lennox and with Lily. I never stopped loving Lennox, even though I pushed that thought away. But we weren't together for that long. Lily and I have been going on for over two years. I don't know what I would do if Lennox and I tried again, just to fail once more. I can't go through that again. My head was on the verge of exploding, so I grabbed the whiskey and poured us some drinks. They still didn't say anything as I filled it again and my gaze fell on the swirling liquid.