unrequited love - hyunlix

041

"So, that's the story about him?"

Felix's eyes were hung low, his hands shoved in between his thighs. "Felix, you have to let go. It's been four years. I know it's hard." Felix finally looked up at his therapist, looking her in the eyes. He hated hearing this, 'You have to let go.' you can't let go of someone who made you feel euphoria and pure happiness.

"I'm... I'm trying."

Felix mumbled.

"It's just.. he made me so happy, I felt so alive with him. He called me all sorts of beautiful compliments." Felix's therapist noticed everything, looking at his soft smile when discussing hyunjin.

"He never loved me, though. What a waste of feelings," Felix said, a light-hearted chuckle. Felix soon realized something as he sat in silence, finally looking her in the eyes once more to say one last thing.

His eyes were beginning to water from this emotion.

"I don't wanna live if I can't live with him." He said softly, "I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to marry him, but he lied and hurt me. I want to let go, but l can't; it feels like a daily spiral. I'm cycling around the same thoughts, and I'm circling the same person."

She let him talk.

"He's with someone else. He found someone he loves, and it's not me. Yet, I'm in love with him — that hurts."

"I know attachment is hard." She started, slowly holding Felix's hand as she said this—the sincere look in her eyes.

"But, he's moved on, he's onto better things. It hurts, i know, but you're never crossing his mind, felix."

Felix bit his lip harshly, as it could almost bleed out from the numbness in his joints and the pain he felt in his throat and heart.

Felix went through all of this for years, went through countless therapy lessons his best friend placed for him out of worry.

Yet nothing was helping.

Felix knocked on hyunjins door, taking a deep breath. He knew he needed to move on and admit his feelings to hyunjin.

Hyunjin opened the door, and his eyes immediately softened, looking curious to Felix. "F-Felix? Hi." He said, he shut the door behind him. He felt the guilt arise noticing the sudden look in Felix's eyes, Felix's eyes were so gentle and held signs of love.

"I know you're probably busy."
Felix said, a hurtfilled chuckle filling the air. "No, not; my husband isn't here yet. I normally help him."

"Oh, I'm happy for you."

Felix smiled.

"Thank you."

Hyunjin smiled back.

"I love you, alot."

Felix admitted. Making hyunjins face go pale. Swallowing as he looked away, he'd changed since college he meant a guy who was perfect for him, he changed for that guy, yet he couldn't change for someone like Felix.

"I still remember when you told me you didn't love me, it was night  you told me those pretty things in my ear, telling me I was perfect for you, telling me you'd be with me forever."

Hyunjin watched Felix say these things. Feeling himself become gagged, he couldn't speak anymore.

"Yet, I still long for you."

Felix smiled.

"I'll always love you."

"Felix? —"

Hyunjin was cut off by Felix turning his back and beginning to strot back to his car that he drove, hyunjin wetted the dryness off of his lips. Feeling the guilt in his chest, he could feel the pain that Felix felt.

He couldn't even say sorry for the things he did that night.

Felix wouldn't ever love the same, he'd never have a normal love life, he could never smile genuinely to where it meant something.

All because of you, hyunjin.

End

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Honestly I liked thus book, it didn't take me long to write only because I update in like 5 minutes, the title should've been an obvious meaning as to what the end would look like.

Thank you all for reading and commenting, stay tuned for more books 🫶🏽!