Her Stain

33.

Yuvraaj stood up, finished speaking. He couldn't bear seeing her tears. They devasted, destroyed him from inside.

He turned, leaving the room when he felt a force on the sleeve of his sherwani.

He stopped.

Turning around, his little dove seemed to be looking down at his sleeve, her eyes not meeting his gaze she pulled at his sleeves innocently. Ek pal ke liye theherana Dil ko, kash manzoor hota, unki aankhon me mushroof hona, kash unhe qubool hota.

"Siya?" Her name was a soft whisper from his mouth, yet touched her heart like ripples in the lake. She wiped her tears, speaking up in a hushed voice. "Rana Sa...,"

She stopped.

Yuvraaj stood patiently, waiting for her to speak. After a while, Siya swallowed, bitterly smiling as she shook her head. She wouldn't speak.

Yuvraaj shook his head, kneeling infront of her. He spoke softly, "What happened, Little Dove?"

Siya chuckled humorlessly shaking her head, wiping her tears as she looked at the ticket of freedom in her hand. "Nothing, Rana Sa."

Yuvraaj's eyes followed her gaze, landing on the ticket, and he frowned. "Is it the place? I could get another ticket, aap to kyun Rahi hai.  Hum..., hum dusri ticket arrange karwalete hai aapki pasandida jagah ke liye. Please don't cry, my love."

Hearing his words, another tearful laugh left Siya, which made Yuvraaj even more concerned. "Aap, Ro kyu Rahi hai, meri Jaan?"

Siya wiped her tears, shaking her head. "Nothing. Thank you for the present. But...," she stopped.

Why couldn't she just say it?

At this moment, she felt immense respect for Yuvraaj. The man could speak about his feelings to her as if speaking about weather.

How showing the most emotions he had the capacity to, infront of her was speaking about weather, only Siya's math could make it sense.

"But?" Yuvraaj frowned? Was she uncomfortable taking gifts from him?

He hastily explained, "If you are feeling uncomfortable about it, Nishant was the one who paid for the ticket."

Siya shook her head, before sighing bitterly. "Raana Sa, perhaps some words aren't meant to be said."

Yuvraaj froze. She wanted to talk with him?

Siya on the other hand couldn't speak due to her embarassment. She couldn't form words to speak to the man infront of her. As a literature student, she had learnt to only be able to speak and express her emotions through her poetries, stories and her writings. All of a sudden, she had to start speaking to the man who claimed to love her unconditionally, how could her brain formulate the words?

Her anxiety would never let her speak.

She looked down, embarrassed. Her eyes falling on the notebook kept beside her. The notebook Zoya was using to making a wishlist and her eyes moved.

She looked up seeing Yuvraaj, who was still waiting patiently for her and bit her lips. She picked up the book, her face turning red, she wrote something on it and passed it to Yuvraaj.

"would you mind it, if I write to you?"

Yuvraaj's eyes rose with realisation and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face, he shook his head.

Siya refused to look at him, as she took back the book and looked ahead thinking before writing. Yuvraaj on the other hand, couldn't stop himself from staring at her.

She would pause every two seconds to think for words, before she would start writing again. She looked as if writing this letter was a very serious task which brought a beautiful smile on his face. Only if he ever would have known love was this beautiful he wouldn't have spent his life trying to evade it.

She wrote and he waited.

It was as if time had stopped under her shine, as if flowers bloomed along the trails her pen left. As if her fragrance was an elixir that made him breath.

And when her pen stopped, her doe eyes lifting upto meet his, it spoke more than her words ever could.

She tore the page, handing it to him.

Still his eyes on her, he took the paper in his hand as he stared at her.With slow leisure his eyes slid to the paper, as his eyes drank in the contents of the letter.

Rana Sa,

I'm Siya Sharma. A 19 year old literature student. Still Studying.

I'm not one who knows how to pretend, Rana Sa. The pretences of the royal family or fancy words of love like yours, those I can't offer. Simply because even in a truce, I refuse to feed lies.

My words, I could make them flowery, filled with stygian depths with unforeseeable sweetness, yet it would only be beautiful but painful words. What use is the beauty that hurts?

Yuvraaj's lips pulled up in a small smile. It was a question he did have an answer to. Because the beauty wasn't for use, but she was a need.

I come from a family with three siblings, and a loving family. Still the love you offer is not one I can digest Rana Sa. Don't love me so much that I die because of shame if I ever regret my actions.

Yuvraaj Singh Chauhan, Such a respectable name you hold, it carries alot of weight, weight that I felt myself bending under and before I realised, I had overgrown anger under it.

For that I apologise.

I could have stirred a thousand troubles, yet what I chose was to disrespect you in various forms.

Anything till here could be well deserved, yet today...

I find myself bending, not under the weight of your respect, but bowing in your respect. Bowing in regrets, for staining something meant to be my crown.

After all,...What respect would I be left with after marriage when you gave it all away on our engagement Rana Sa?

Yuvraaj's heart stopped beating. After marriage?

His eyes staring at Siya, overwhelmed with flickering emotions, she refused to meet his gaze.

He looked down at the last words,

Chahate nahi the ke Dil se haare,
Par dard pahucha ke jeetne ko dil na mane.
Waise bhi Humari shaadi ke baad toh,
Izzat aapki, hai naam humare.

Yuvraaj took in a breath, shaking his head after reading the letter. "Siya, I'm not going to be forcing you little dove. Marriage is a big deal--"

"I don't know about you Rana Sa." Siya spoke up softly, "But to my family promises matter alot."

She shook her head, "You kept my respect. I wouldn't want to ruin yours."

Maybe the future wouldn't be so bad.
_______________________________

Honestly I can't handle your happiness. Lemme over dose it in the next chapter ;)

Isn't this too soon for Siya to agree, don't y'all think? Like such a 180° change all of a sudden? Idk makes me cringe.

Idk I wasn't satisfied with this chapter. 

Love,
aesthetephilist