Perfect

Perfect: Chapter Twenty-Three

Perfect

 

 

Chapter Twenty Three

 

 

Beau

 

 

            The music from the band blasted in my ears, and I sat alone on the bar stool at our usual hole in the wall bar. The same bar Emma and I came to the night we started our affair. It was also the bar Dean and I put so much hell on in high school. I took another sip of my whiskey, and glanced down to the screen of my phone at the message I had received hours ago.

 

            Thanks for the advice man. We had the best night. ;)

 

            Honestly, all I wanted to do as I stared down at the words was break my phone in half, but I refrained. My stomach was turning and the taste of vomit rose in the back of my throat. All of this made me sick. I was completely in love with someone that I simply will never have. She will always be Dean’s. I gulped down the rest of my whiskey to clear the terrible taste in my mouth.

 

            After a moment, I scrolled down to Emma’s name and dressed on the bar. I had received two messages from her. The first told me she wouldn’t be able to see me tonight, which I already knew it. And the other…

 

            I really miss you.

 

            The willpower that I had mustered up earlier was starting to vanish, and I felt so tempted to actually text her back. Although, I knew it wasn’t the best idea. I pressed the menu bar on my phone and then scrolled down to the delete button. No part of me wanted too but I needed too. If the messages were there to flash in front of my blurry eyes all night, I won’t be able to resist the temptation. I took a deep breath, and then pressed delete. Honestly, I wanted to bawl like a little baby. None of this is fair, but I guess it’s what I had signed up for in the beginning. I knew it would lead to deceiving one of my best friends, but I never thought I would have to deceive both of them. I told her I loved her, and that I would take care of her, now I have to do away with everything. Would she be hurt if I ended things? The question in my mind opened so many doors that it was crazy. Soon, I had another glass of whiskey sitting in front of me while I got lost in my thoughts. Would Emma really let me break things off? Does she love me enough to not let go?

 

            The thoughts were completely driving me crazy.

 

            My forehead dropped down to the bar counter, and I closed my eyes feeling miserable. I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. My heart was pounding constantly, and I couldn’t make myself think of anything else. It was mind boggling, and I hated that I had to make a choice.

 

            My best friend, who is the brother I never had. Or the one I love? Sure, it would have been an easy answer if the two weren’t engaged. But they are. In reality, it’s my fault. I should have never let her get away the first time. She should have been mine all along; but no, she is his. I had spent my whole life making sure I got everything he wanted, but now the only thing I ever did want is in his hands and is not a god damned thing I can do about it.