Broken Soul

Chapter 7 (edited)

I slept in all day Saturday and did nothing but veg and it felt good.  I couldn't remember the last time I was able to do that.  Hopefully when I'm able to sell Sinclair Industries I will get to have more of a personal life for a change.  

Brett and Chloe had called and asked me to meet them at Sambalatte for coffee and I was more than happy to go.  I chose a sleeveless peach colored dress that came just above my knees and cute leopard print flats and a thin white sweater; my hair actually looked good down this morning considering I wore it up all day the day before, light makeup, simple diamond loop earrings and a few bangle bracelets.  I didn't mind driving myself today because it wasn't too far from where I live.  

Did I mention that technically I am not supposed to drive anymore?  Thanks to one of the beatings that I received from Christian I have a detached retina in one eye so I am considered legally blind in that eye.  I kept my license updated and current for identification purposes but I will drive occasionally; I miss the freedom being behind the wheel brings me.  

My pride and joy is my 2017 Audi R8, red.  I was in some kind of frame of mind when I got a vanity plate that read BROKEN.  I had decided that I would leave it because just as my tattoo said Survivor this would remind me of where I come from, how far I had come and the fact that I would never go back.

Brett and Chloe were already waiting for me when I arrived at the coffee shop.  I smiled and waved as soon as I saw them and made my way over.  Brett, always the gentleman, stood up and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and Chloe and I exchanged hugs as well.  I went to get my caramel machiatto and an orange and cranberry scone.  

After I got my order I went back and sat down, determined to enjoy being out and among the living.  "Well" Brett started.  "How was the charity event on Friday?"  I smiled widely.  "We raised twelve million!  Can you believe that?  I got to give Children's a check for twelve million dollars!" 

 Brett and Chloe could tell how much that had meant to me; I had been throwing myself into charities and volunteering when and where I could, it made me feel whole.  I got serious for a moment.  "Brett, I am going to sell Sinclair Industries" I said waiting for a reaction.  He looked a little shocked but answered "Chels I'm not surprised.  To be honest you are a super hero in my book being the CEO for as long as you have.  I don't know how you did it for two years.  Who's the buyer?"  

I told him I was setting up a meeting with Angelo Silvano and he almost spat out his coffee.  "What?" I asked.  "Is this not a good move?  I worked with Danielle from legal doing my due diligence all day yesterday.  Everything points to this being a good move."  I was concerned now that I was making a bad decision.  

Brett shook his head and said "No, it's an excellent move!  Christian had always wanted to do business with Silvano and Sons but the old man wouldn't because of Christian's reputation.  Believe it or not you have done wonders for shoring up the Sinclair name, Chelsea.  I loved my brother, but he was moving at breakneck speed destroying our name; you have redeemed it, sis" he said that last part lovingly.  I swallowed hard trying not to get emotional.

We continued talking about other things such as Chloe's job, how she was doing, new techniques she was going to learn at this next medical conference, etc.  She was so passionate about her job and you could tell she loved it with her whole heart.  That's what I wanted.  To love something so passionately that it shined through so people could see it on the outside.  

Brett brought the topic back around to his late brother's company; he asked about employees, benefits, etc.  "Brett it is my intention that everything and everyone stays in their current positions.  The contract that legal has drawn up states all of this in detail.  I do not want this company dismantled, it just needs new leadership.  I have also stipulated in the contract that I want to remain on board but as a regular employee."  

Chloe and Brett looked at each other then Brett spoke up.  "I would have thought you would take the money and travel, stay home, just do whatever.  Why are you staying on?"  I looked down at my half eaten scone and then back up at Brett and Chloe.  "I need to stay busy.  I want to keep working; just because I'll have money out the butt doesn't mean I want to work on spending it all.  You guys are family so I can say this to you with all truthfulness...I'm still dealing with my feelings for Christian.  In some screwed up way I still miss him and coming home to an empty house every night is starting to take its toll.   I have several women at work that I have befriended but because I am CEO I can't be seen out partying with them.  When I'm a regular employee I can go out with my girlfriends to clubs and have a life.  I know I sound pathetic going on about missing Christian and I'm working with my therapist on it but there it is."

I swiped a tear from under my eye and used my napkin to dab the corner.  Chloe reached over and laid her hand on top of mine.  "Chelsea what you went through, have been through and are going through right now is understandable.  I don't think you are pathetic.  Christian was your husband, your first everything and with everything he put you through you still loved him.  That's not something that goes away over night.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that there is a time line on grief; if they do you walk away.  Your mind, heart and body will let you know when it's time to move on.  Until then, deal with it in your own way and your own time frame and know that Brett and I both are here for you."  

Brett looked up and even his eyes were a little glassy.  "My brother was an asshole and a douche but he was my brother and I miss him everyday too.  He was my big brother and I looked up to him and he took care of me.  Chloe's right, Chels.  You grieve and miss him for as long as you need too and know that we are here for you...always."  

I smiled and just realized that I wasn't truly alone and for the first time in a long time my heart hurt a little less.