Divergent High: Fire v Ice

Chapter 51: Thoughts

Tris POV

"Fine but keep the door open!" Zeke shouts, "We don't want any Tris or Four Jr's running around!"
"Yet!" Christina chimes in. I roll my eyes as I sit on one of many guest beds. Four opens the door halfway so we can watch our friends mess around. I think us keeping the door open is for more of their protection than ours.

Four sits with one leg dangling over the bed and another folded beneath him while I sit Indian style on the other side of the bed.
"So what do you want to do?" I ask him.
"Well I've been thinking lately... about you of course," he says with a smirk causing me to blush deeply.
"I've known you my whole life and we've been dating for almost five months now, I know everything about you from your favorite color to favorite ice cream flavor. I know what you would do in almost any situation. The things that I don't know about you is what goes on inside of your pretty little head. So we can play a game sort of like 20 questions but a lot more complex," he explains.

"Ok," I say rubbing my hands together slowly.
"For example of what I said earlier, when you rub your hands together, you're nervous," he smiles widely at his cleverness.
"Oh shut up," I mumble nudging him playfully.

"Should I go first?" I ask.
"Sure," he smiles gently at me and tucks a strand of hair that fell in front of my face behind my ear. I giggle shaking my head.
"What?" He questions softly.
"Stop!" I laugh.
"Stop what?" He's laughing now.
"Being a romantic cheese ball!" I say and his laughter fills the room bouncing off all the walls.
"Where did you get that phrase from!?" He asks still laughing to hard to look me in the eye.

"What do you believe love is?" I say distracting him. He stops laughing as a ghost of a smile plays along his lips while he thinks.
"Well I obviously think love is God, but love between two partners?" He asks and I nod smiling at the way he thinks about this.

"I think love isn't a feeling but a choice, I mean at some point in every relationship one or the other won't feel the same way and I think it's their choice to continue to love the other. You could really love anyone if you set your heart to it. I would say love is like a disease, sometimes you can't stop it," he finishes off with a wide smile. As he speaks I get engrossed in his words, with every word he says it captures me, it makes me think of my parents and Amar and Tori.

"Wow," I breathe, "I guess I never really thought of it that way," I say frowning in thought. Soon his fingers lace with mine and he scoots closer and kisses my forehead, "My turn," he whispers against my hair.

"When something big happens to you how do you look at it?" He asks cautiously, clearly trying to avoid parts of my life that remind me of being broken.
"Most people would say I see it as a 'before this' and 'after that', but that's not how I see it at all. I see it as eliminating who I'm not, maybe when we're born we're everything and as life goes on we slowly become less just to make us who we really are supposed to be. With every loss there is something to gain, and with everything that you gain, you lose something. Every new story that you inherit becomes a part of who you are, you're not supposed to avoid the pain of life, that's impossible. What you're supposed to do is be rewarded with the scars, and then you can show people 'this is the hell I endured, and I survived'," I say, watching him the whole time to see his reaction.

His face tells little as it always does when someone says something from their heart, it's just something that he does. Then a smile spreads across his face, not something that would end in a laugh but more of a soft gentle but kind and big smile.

"Have I told you I love you," he whispers. I giggle and feel yet another blush rise to my cheeks and I wrap my arms around his neck as he falls back bringing me with him.

"What do you think are the parts of life?" I ask scrunching my eyebrows together while starring at his perfect lips. He licks his lips before he speaks and when he does, his voice is strong and sure, "I believe that there are two stages in life, growing up, and growing old, and that everything you do when you grow up, you do the opposite when you grow old. For example, when you grow up you learn new things, when you grow old, you forget those things in which you learned, like one stage is doing something, and the other undoes it."