Divergent High: Fire v Ice

Chapter 58: Not Alone but Dreaming of It

Four's POV

She's so cold. Her body has been robbed of breathe for the past hours. Maybe it's been hours, maybe minutes? All I know is I'm holding the love of my life in my arms, but she's gone. She's dead.
"Four!" I hear a voice shout, but it doesn't quiet reach my head. I feel like my head has been submerged in water, I can't hear, I can't breathe, I want to die. I want to die so I'll join her. I'll join her in paradise.

Her body is taken from my arms, Amar stands in front of me, the paramedics placing her on something and taking her away to somewhere.
"Amar," I choke as I watch her body being taken away, "Amar!" I cry and tears flood my eyes pouring onto my face like an ocean's wave.
"She's dead! She's gone!" my voice is hoarse, broken to the point of no return, kind of like me.

Amar soothes me, saying something in my ear, but it's not him, it's not his voice. It's my fathers. I shove Amar away from me gasping for air and feel my eyes widen at the sight of my father. Maybe I'd imagined it being Amar, or maybe I'm imaging Amar as my father right now.

"Four," this time it's Amar's voice coming out of my father's mouth.
"No," I stand only for my feet to go numb and fall once more. "This can't be real," I feel my body throwing itself out of the door and out of the room.

Tris's body is now lying on the floor, all alone, covered in bugs. "No," I croak, "This isn't real! This is a damn sim!"

Just like that, I woke up.

Tris's POV

I jolt awake, the pain slowly coming back. Clutching my chest I scream at the top of my lungs as it feels like ice coats my heart.
"It's a side effect," a monotonous voice says from the opposite side of the room. My eyes travel to meet with steel eyes, boring into my own with a judgment stare.

"The pain I mean," Jeanine takes a few casual steps into my cell and I'm tempting to lung for her throat and end her life but the sight of the guards around the corner seem to warn me to do otherwise. The blue pantsuit she wears seems to darken as she comes closer. ( Hilary Clinton starring as Jeanine Matthews :)  )

"Unforturnaly we haven't exactly found a solution for that problem, but I think you should last long enough for us to get what we need," she wears a tight smile and places her hands in front of her like she's doing the world a favor or something.

"And what is that?" I say my throat raw from the screaming I've been doing, "What do you need that you're willing to kill for? Power?" I sneer at her that she'd being willing to kill a child just for her own benefits.
"You have a chemical in your brain that no one else I've ever seen has," she slowly takes a seat in a chair across from me and I remind myself to never sit in that chair again.
"You can deminish fear in a milisecond, if my team finds a way to extract that chemical from your brain and duplicate it then we'll be able to create fearless soldiers. Of course we have to put you through muiltiple simulations so once you feel fear and diminish it then we can extract the chemical."

I feel my brain wrapping around the theory, the only thing I don't get is why my life is in danger, I'm only getting scared that shouldn't kill me?
"Why am I dying?" the words seem normal to me, like I may have said this every day of my life.
"We don't know, all we know is that everytime you go in that sim, you come back one step closer to the heavenly gates," I would like to say she was smiling, smiling at my death, but instead she stared at me emotionless, like the computor she is. She has no value for human life, never has and never will.

Adrublty standing she leaves the room, halfway through I call her name and she stops, she doesn't turn she jut stops, "You're Satan," the words are simple and true. After a beat, she disappears from my sight and the cell door slides closed once more, locking me up to die.

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I don't know how many hours go by, I remember it being sunny when Jeanine came and now the moon light shines through my small window, reminding me that there's still a world out there. The bells of the Basilica fill my ears once more and I start to wonder if my family is looking for me, if they even know I'm in DC.

The thought of Tobias not looking for me seems to create a whole new pain, a pain I have yet to feel. If Amar was searching for me he would've found me by now. Falling to my bed I bury my head into my pillow, the burden of complete and utter abandonment fills my body.

I'm alone in hell.

Beeping fills my ears and my swollen eyes open. It seems like just a second ago I was crying but the suns rays that file into my cell suggest otherwise. Glancing through my cell glass door I see Jeanine slide her card through my cell's lock and once again beeping fills my ears and Jeanine strolls into the small room, a brand new light blue pantsuit seemed to turn her into a rectangle instead of a human.

"Bring him in," her eyes never leave mine but her words are directed towards the guards outside. I watch as they drag in a body that is quickly thrown at my feet. A scream fills the corridors and I soon find out that it was my voice which made the ear piercing sound.
"Four!" the sound screeches and soon I'm craddling his bloodied face in my chest crying into his soft hair.

"Tris," his voice sings causing every ounce of blood in me to warm.
"What have you done?" I cry holding his face in my arms as his torso rests on my lap.
"You die, I die," his words seem to send my heart into a thousand pieces of pain.

"No," I cry as his lips stain with his blood. Soon his body is ripped from my grasp and I find myself colder than I've ever felt before.
"No!" I spring towards him with two men restaining me from him.
"I hope this is enough motivation for you," her computer-like voice fills the cell as I watch him being dragged away.

My icy gaze turns to her, "I will kill you," my voice doesn't seem like my own, it doesn't soud like the goody two shoes Tris Prior, this voice doesn't belong to me. That voice came from all the demons inside of me, the blood I shed before is nothing compared to what I will do to her, I will shed her blood just like she shed the blood of all the innocent.

"Hm," was all she hummed before continueing, "If you proceed and fail, he dies. If you succeed, you die, but he'll be returned to his family." The coldness in my chest was no longer emptiness, it was like a cold hard stone was placed in my chest, making me feel like I was about to explode in grief and fear. It was Four, or me. Never in my life have I felt the drive I was feeling at this moment, to succeed, to fight. Determination coursed through my body and never in my life had I been so determined to die.