Heartbeat

Love; Embarrassment

Song of the chapter- Ride by Joseph Somo

&

You and me by Lifehouse


Mature content, read at own risk



Alex-



I didn't care that we both smelt slightly of lake water, I didn't care that our clothes were damp and that our hair was wet because I knew those clothes would be long gone soon. His hand held mine tight as I led him to my bedroom which we had just been in this morning, his silence enough to prove that he knew what I wanted.

It's when we are in the room with the door closed that he studies my face, the way he kisses me making me feel like I am in the safest place there could be on this earth. He didn't ask if I was sure I was ready, if I was positive and absolutely ready for what we are about to do, because he just knew. He could feel it. He could tell it was the perfect time by just the way I touched him in such a tender matter that it made his skin erupt in chills beneath my fingertips as I stripped his clothes off him. I didn't feel an ounce of my strength and bravery fade away as he did the same to me, my sweater being pulled off my body to join his clothes on the floor.

"I love you." He reminds me once again, making me kiss his hand as he places himself above me on the mattress. I nod my head, kissing up his hand, his arm, until reaching his shoulder and collar bone.

I didn't take long until we were completely caught up in one another, our panting breaths in sync as we touched and felt each other in the most loving ways possible, the ways that made one another fall apart every time our skin touched. I didn't feel strange being completely bared in front of him, because his looming height covered me from the outside world.

It wasn't until he pulled away from my swollen lips and leaned down to his jeans that I realized what he was doing, taking his wallet from the pocket and pulling out a condom. When he comes back to me he hovers over me again.

"If if hurts, I want you to let me know." His eyes are locked on mine, making me nod my head in response, hand grasping at his arm as he shifts above me.

"I want you to just keep your eyes on me okay?" He asks me gently. I nod my head again as he unwraps the silver packet, keeping my eyes on his face as he places in on, letting out a trembles breath as I feel him position himself against me right after.

"Don't hesitate to tell me to stop, I mean it." He informs me. I place my hand against his cheek to tell him it's alright, holding my breath as I feel him nudge his tip in a little.

"Tell me when I can go in more." He breaths from above me, the way his arms hold himself above me making my heart pound. I squeeze his arm again, tightening my jaw at the odd and slightly unpleasant feeling as he pushes inside me a bit more.

He stays in place, and I know he's having a hard time by the way he's breathing, so I squeeze him arm again, sealing my eyes closed as I feel a stinging pain.

"We can stop, we can stop." Harry gushes from above me. I shake my head with my eyes still closed, biting the inside of my lip hard to try and take my attention off the stinging.

I open my eyes, grabbing his bicep again to tell him to go on. I knew this would be uncomfortable, but it's what I want. I want to feel him.

"I don't want to hurt you." Harry murmurs gently. I smile a little at his concern for me, his eyes softening as he witnesses the pull of my lips, convincing him to push in a little further after kissing my forehead.

I let out an uncomfortable moan, digging my nails into his arm as he filled me up, my eyes watering up at the pain.

"Oh my God, no don't cry." Harry panics, thumb wiping under my eyes. I lean my cheek into his palm, closing my eyes to try and block the aching away.

"I can't do this, I'm stopping." I hear him tell me, instantly grabbing ahold of his shoulders to keep him in place.

I meet eyes with him, looking at him in a way that pleaded for him to just keep going.

"If it doesn't go away after a while I'm really going to stop." He speaks. I nod my head against the skin of his hand before he lets it drop back to the mattress to support his weight.

I hold my breath as he pulls out and thrusts back in slowly, painfully slowly, holding back my tears desperately. When he did it again, even slower this time it wasn't as bad, feeling numb more than anything.

"Does it still hurt?" He murmurs. I shake my head no, telling him mostly the truth, because it still stings a little, but not nearly as bad as it was before.

"You promise me? Because I really can't-" I put my finger to his lips to shush his doubts, pulling him down to be with me.

His lips press to my cheeks softly as he thrusts in and out once again, the strangled moan that tumbled from his lips and onto the skin of my neck making me run my hands over his back.

"Alex." He breaths out, thrusting once again.

It still stung each time he moved within me, but I couldn't find it in myself to tell him to stop because by the way he's moaning and breathing against my skin, I know he's enjoying it. I don't want to be selfish. So I close me eyes, his face buried in my neck. He didn't push me too far, waiting a while after each thrust to do it again.

"Does it feel good yet?" He asks me, swollen lips speaking against my hair.

I shake my head no, being honest with him. He kisses me to bring the attention off of the still uncomfortable feeling, making me gasp into his mouth as he pulled out and pushed back in again.

"I've never felt this close to anyone before." He sighs against my lips, my hands running over the sides of his face.

I've never had anyone this close to me in my life, but not the way that he is referring to.

*****


Harry-



I held her in my arms, hoping that I could take away all the pain that I had possibly caused her, even before it had went away and even before it had started to please her, because I didn't like to see her in pain. The sheet covers our lowers halves, Alex lying on her stomach against my side, arm sprawled against my chest, fingers trailing over the bare skin.

"I don't want to get up." I murmur, regretting the agreement I made to go to dinner with the group for my birthday.

She hums an agreement, warm lips pressing to the skin of my chest after. I wind my arms around her naked waist, the skin soft against my own as I held her to me.

"You were the best I'd ever had." I tell her, making her cheeks blossom with pink. She rolls her eyes in an intreating way.

"I'm not just saying that. It's different when you love the person you're doing it with." I speak truthfully, her face nuzzling into my neck as I tell her these words.

"Would you want to do it again?" I ask her curiously. She nods her head against my neck. I know her cheeks are pink even though I cannot see them.

"I'm sorry it hurt." I tell her once again, her lips making contact with my neck.

"You don't regret it, right? It was your first time and I just really hope it's all that you imagined it would be." I speak my insecurities aloud.

Her hold on me tightens. "I don't regret it."

My heart hammered in my chest at the sound of her voice, the unexpectance of it making my face light up into a wide, happy grin.

I turn her over so I can see her face below mine.

"I just love you." I murmur, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"And I just love the way you blush." I kiss her nose.

"I love your freckles." My lips flutter over them, just above her cheekbones.

"I love your voice." I say quieter, holding more meaning as I kiss her lips, eyes closing.

"I love how your body fits and works perfectly with mine." Her cheeks are pink again.

"And most of all, I don't want to leave this bed." I groan, making her chuckle amusedly and beautifully against my lips.

"We don't want Louis and Eleanor to come in here again, especially right now." I laugh from above her, referring to my naked body hovering above hers.

She shakes her head in agreement with a laugh, making me smile as she raises her fingers to run the tips over my curved lips.

She looks different somehow, and I don't even know if I can place just what it is about her thats different. She just has a glow to her, her eyes are bright but look the same as they always do when she is happy, it's just something. And while I study her face trying to figure out just what it is, I'm reminded all over again of just how beautiful she is. Just how pretty, lovely, sweet, generous, and loving she is. I was too caught up in the prefect features of her face to even hear the bedroom door open.

"Alex, do you know where Harry is we have-"

And then, Louis' voice what cut off, knowing he's seen the current situation before him. What are the possibilities that this would happen right after I'd said it?!

"Oh my god! I'm sorry!" He half shouts-laughs. Alex is the color of a tomato, her hands working to cover some of her dignity from Louis who still stands in the doorway with wide eyes and a histarical laugh.

"God dammit, Louis!" I shout, not angry, but wondering why the hell he is still standing in the doorway with Alex lying naked in the bed while I'm trying to cover her body with my own which still rests over hers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I would-"

He's cut off by a pillow being thrown at him right in the face.

"Well get the hell out!" I laugh, looking down to Alex who has her eyes closed in embarrassment, arms held tight over her chest.

I hear the door shut as a signal he left, my face falling into her neck as I try to hold back my laughs, trying not to smile in amusement but failing as I laugh into her neck.

"I'm sorry, babe." I chuckle heavily.



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