Heartbeat

Ice Skating; Christmas Lights

Song of the chapter-

Hear you me by Jimmy Eats World



Alex-


"Do you think we should get you one of those pregnancy test things? Because I can go down to the market and get you one and-"

I shake my head against Harrys chest to stop his rambling, still sat on the bathroom floor with him.

"Too early to tell." I mumble.

He nods his head, and it was quiet for an immense amount of time. I didn't know what to say, because I always feel like I'm putting one burden on him after the other.

"So we just wait for your period to come?" Harry asks me.

I nod my head, and that's when he helps me up to lead me back to my bedroom.

"We'll be fine, Alex."

But I didn't know if I could believe him. Because if I can't even take care of myself, then how could I take care of a child?

And even though I wasn't even positive that there was a little baby growing in my stomach, I found my mind wondering.

Stress, anxiety, and panic attacks.

I have all those things. And do you know what those things can do to your pregnancy?

Bad things.


*****


Harry-


Two days had passed and still there was nothing. It's like we were both sitting around and waiting for her monthly 'gift', the only thing that could lift these nerves off our shoulders. The weekend has come but neither Alex or I feel like hanging out with the boys or the girls, because we know that they will be able to tell that something is up, and we don't want to worry them.

Of course it is still the same between us. Of course we still laugh and cuddle and tease and love on each other all throughout the day. But there are times when she looks at me, or when I look at her, and we both know exactly what that look means. It means, what are we going to do if there actually is a baby right in your stomach?

But we distracted ourselves, and today we decided to go and do something fun instead of sitting it the apartments all day. We decided to go ice skating; something we've both never done, and something that would be fun. So I watched as Alex wondered around her room trying to find something to wear. She rummaged through her closet with her pink bottom lip taken between her teeth, digging through her drawers to find leg warmers; what she'd murmured to me when I asked what she was looking for. And then, she kneels down to look under her bed and comes back up with a prize winning smile, a pair of leg warmers in her hands.

"Do you think this'll be enough to keep me warm?" I ask her, gesturing down to my regular clothes, jeans, a long sleeve, and a jacket.

She shrugs her shoulders and then begins tug down her sweats to change. It makes me happy that she's comfortable enough around me to do these things. And even though I see the healing cuts on her legs, it doesn't phase me as they used to. Because its a part of her now. Of course it still reminds me of the pain we went through because of them, but it is nothing compared to how it used to be when I caught sight of them.

"Come here." I murmur, making her eyes flick up to me, distracting her from getting dressed.

I outstretch my hand to grab hers, pulling her into me, her legs resting between mine as I sit on the edge of her bed.

"Love you." I tell her.

I feel her nose being nuzzled into my neck, her nod confirming that she feels the same for me.


*****

I didn't think ice skating would be as hard as it was. Even with my hand squeezing Alex's for dear life, I could hardly stay on my feet. And for as clumsy as Alex is, she did fairly better than me. She looks like a cuddly teddy bear that I want to tackle to the floor and cuddle. She wears a white beanie over her brown hair and a white scarf around her neck, that baby blue jacket that I like on her hugging her shoulders.

"Are you sure you haven't gone ice skating before?" I chuckle, the hand that doesn't hold hers spreading out beside me for balance.

She shakes her head no with a laugh as my skates slip beneath me, making me hold my breath until I gain balance again. A little boy and his seemed to be older brother zoom passed us again as they've been doing since we've been here, but this time nudge into my shoulder by accident. And as he shouts his sorry over his shoulder I begin to fall, but catch myself on the railing beside us, taking Alex with me and making her stumble into the bar.

"That was close." I breath out, Alex laughing softly as she balances perfectly on her ice skates again.

I spoke too soon though, because right after I said that the blades of my skates slide against the ice, making my legs give way and making my butt meet the ice with a thud, a groan fleeing my lips, beanie falling off my head. I hear Alex gasp, and surprisingly she hadn't fallen along with me; her hand still holding my own to my surprise, the other being shot out to keep her stable on the railing beside us.

I open my squeezed shut eyes as I lean upon my elbow.

"Is there blood?" I ask, receiving the laugh I'd wanted from her, the sound ringing through my ears.

"This is that cliche moment where you were supposed to fall on top of me and kiss me." I tell her, her hand still in mine as she balances upon the thin blade of her ice skates, her back bent as she tries to pull her hand from mine to stand up straight.

But I wouldn't let her, her eyes widening as I tug on her hand a little.

She shakes her head furiously with a nervous laugh, trying to pull away from me again. And this time when I pull her hand, she stumbles even more.

"Harry, stop." She giggles.

I pull her hand with enough force to bring her down to me this time, a small groan falling passed her bright pink lips that are resulted from the cold weather, her chest meeting mine.

"Now this is when you kiss me." Her hair conceals her face from me as I pucker my lips in an over dramatic way, knowing she'd lifted her head to see me as I hear her laugh.

"C'mon now." I urge again, puckering my lips once more.

Her lips brush against mine as she laughs.

"Jackass."

The word is mumbled against my lips from hers, making me grin even though she'd just called me a jackass.

"You don't mean that do you babe?" I act hurt as our lips disconnect, making them turn into a pout just for her amusement.

She nods her head, her long waves of hair brushing against my jacketed chest.

"But you wouldn't kiss a jackass, so I must not be one."

"Won't kiss you then."

I've noticed that she uses the least amount of words that she can, but it doesn't bother me.

"You don't mean that."

She laughs loudly, the kind of laugh that I know she thinks is embarrassing for people to hear as I roll is over, but I think it's adorable and endearing.

"Cold cold cold!" She shrieks, back arching off the iced flooring. I chuckle, standing onto my skates; after many failed attempts, and help her up with my hand grasping hers.


*****


Alex-


"Do you like Christmas lights?"

Harrys curious voice murmurs this from beside me as we sit on the bleachers beside the skating rink, taking off our ice skates.

I nod my head with a smile, I love everything Christmas related. Except Christmas shopping, I'm a big procrastinator on that. I still don't know what to get Harry.

"Well I know this place that I could take you, this little neighborhood close by that decorates their houses all up."

The small smile that is on his face makes me smile also.

"Would you want me to take you tonight?"

"Yeah." I smile softly as I take off my last skate, setting it aside.

He smiles brightly. I know I don't speak as much as I could, but nods and shakes of my head is what comes to mind to answer when someone talks to me. It's an instinct to do just that. But I hope as time goes by that it will be without thought to talk to him. Or anybody for that matter.

"Okay, and we could go right now if I could get this untied." He chuckles, long, cold fingers wrestling with the knot of his skates.

I giggle and pat my leg, beginning to untie his skates for him once he rests his foot on my lap.


****

Harry had insisted that I shouldn't drink coffee so late in the day, because I'd end up being wired up at the end of the night, but I had insisted, and the steam from my coffee cup floats into the air as I clamp hands with Harry, walking through the streets of the neighborhood he'd taken me to.

"My Mum and Dad used to take me and my sister here when we were little to see the Christmas lights." Harry tells me, his nose and cheeks pink as I look up to him.

I smile softly as I imagine Harry as a little boy walking these streets.

"That house has always had that up." He points to the Santa blow up in someone's lawn who is holding a present in his hands, it's body swaying back and forth in the gentle but freezing wind.

I lean into his side as we walk, my head tilted up as I look at the light covered houses. I feel Harrys hand drift down to my lower back, and squeal as his hand slips under my jacket and shirt to press his cold hand to my skin. He chuckles heartily as I dart away from him, the half drank coffee sloshing in the cardboard cup.

"I'm sorry, I just had to do it." He smiles over at me.

"I won't do it again." He laughs.

Once forcing me back into his side, we walk some more and I finish my coffee. And I knew harry was right about me getting wired up after drinking all that coffee, because I feel my once tired eyes being opened and alert. My feet begin to move a little faster and I feel like skipping down the streets with Harry stumbling behind me. But I keep it inside, because I know Harry will tease and say I told you so.

"You're hyper now aren't you?" Harry asks me. My eyes flick up to him, wondering how he'd known.

"Well your hand is on my bum first off, and that either means you're horny or in a cheeky mood." He answers my thoughts.

My cheeks heat as I giggle and put my face into his shoulder, not even realizing that my hand had trailed there.

"And you're just about running next to me." He laughs.

"Caught me." I murmur into his jacket.

I know he notices how I use the least words possible, but he seems to understand.

"I told you so."

I knew he'd say that. I laugh into the confines of his clothes as I bite him a little on the shoulder, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough for him to actually feel it.

"You just bit me!" He exclaims, leaning away from me with a laugh.

I stumble to the side with him due to leaning against him, and his arms wraps around me again.

"Maybe I should give you coffee more often. It makes you cheeky and feisty." He whispers into my hair.

My cheeks flush and I giggle, hopping onto his back as he leans over for me to do so.




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