Heartbeat

Broken; I Don't Know

Song of the chapter-


You and I by One Direction


Harry-


I stumbled behind Jessica as she continued to drag me along in her path, my attempts to gently tug my arm away from her hold only making her grab onto me a bit harder.

"What, do you not know how to dance?" She laughs with humor that didn't have me laughing one bit when we reach the edge of the dance floor.

I open my mouth to speak but she leans up to whisper into my ear, interrupting my want to speak. "Because I sure could show you."

I get chills, and not pleasant ones in any way as her breath tickled across my neck. And I know what she means by showing me, just like I'd shown Alex to dance a while ago. And I don't want to do that with her.

"Listen, I'm trying to find my-"

"Your friend can wait, Harry."

When my hands are forced to rest on her hips I instantly jolt away from the feeling of it, my hands not fitting on her curves like they do Alex's. Her smile that's aimed at me makes me feel queasy and uneasy.

"No it can't wait, I really-"

"Harry. I said your friend could wait. What's the harm in a little dance?" She asks me, her voice holding a hint of annoyance, but mostly filled with desperate need.

"My girlfriend can't wait." I snap, recoiling my hand from hers as she try's to place my hands back on her body.

Her plastic smile fades away as I turn to walk away from her, praying to God she doesn't try to drag me back to her. I rub my hands on my jeans to get the feeling of her cold, clammy skin off of them, and head back for the bathrooms. The place where I'd been heading to in the first place.

I push the door open hesitantly, peeking my head inside to see if there happens to be any woman inside. And there is a girl, standing in front of the mirror applying some lipstick.

"Look, I'm sorry." I tell her as she shoots a weirded out look in my direction.

"I'm just looking for someone." I inform her as I step inside.

"There's no one in here besides me." She murmurs quickly, grabbing her little bag from the counter of the sinks before scurrying out.

I glance around the large bathroom with a big huff, wondering where in the hell she could me. But then I hear something. A sniffle?

I look to the stalls, one large, brown door sealed short and the others opened up wide to show they are unattended. I walk over to the closed door quietly, squatting down to peer underneath the stall door. There isn't a pair of feet in my view, but the blue cloth that is able to be seen tells me she is sat upon the closed toilet seat. I bring myself to my feet and lean into the door.

"Alex, I know you're in there." I murmur loud enough for her to hear.

I can picture her baby blue eyes gazing at the door at the sound of my voice, contemplating on whether or not to open up.

"Open up the door, Love." I encourage.

I hate the idea of her sitting in the large stall all alone, staring at the walls in front of her or her head leant against her knees which are most likely pulled to her chest as she cries. Because she's been doing that a lot lately, even if I haven't seen it I still have a feeling that she does.

"Open up or I'm coming in myself." I warn in a tone that says I'm serious, but in a way that is still gentle and soft.

I press my ear to the door and when I hear no sign of movement from her side. I let out a huff from my cheeks as I lower myself onto the floor to crawl underneath the stall door. I try and ignore the fact of how dirty these floors are as I crawl underneath the barrier between us. When she sees me coming under I hear her sniffles come more frequently, her crying becoming harder. Does she not want to see me? When I'm completely under I lift myself off the floor to meet the girl sat upon the toilet seat with her legs pulled to her chest just like I knew they'd be.

"Alex, what's going on?" I wonder aloud, speaking my curious and confused thoughts aloud.

She was just fine when I left her on the dance floor. She shakes her head, her face hidden from me and leant atop of her knees. I look at her for a while in complete silence, trying to pull all the possible missing pieces together in my head. But I couldn't, and that was hard to notice. So I soon find myself on my knees in front of her, her height barely above mine.

"Please look at me."

She does as I ask, and the mascara streaks that run down her face sends a strike of pain through my chest. I sigh, saddened, and reach up my thumbs to try and wipe away the damn mascara that she never even wears and doesn't need to wear anyways off her cheeks. But she squeezes her eyes closed and tilts her face away from my touch before I even meet her skin. That sends more pain through my body as I retreat my hands from her.

"Why don't you want me to touch you?" I ask softly, my voice dampened with a bit of sadness.

She shakes her head again, and when a sob racks through her body she puts her head on top of her knees again, her hands reaching up to be placed on either side of her head, her fingers tangling into her hair in a tight grasp. She's seeming to be angry, sad, and even more than that but I can't quite tell. And it's driving me insane.

I can't even make myself move, I'm frozen sitting in front of her as she racks with tears in front of me. I don't know what to do right now. I have no idea what to do anymore.

"Alex, I don't know what to do." I whisper, my eyes scanning over her with a tightened jaw.

She chokes on her tears at my spoken words, as if it made her even more sad that even I don't know how to help.

"What can I do? I don't know what to do." My words are strained as I try to swallow the forming lump in my throat.

It seemed like she didn't want me to even touch her. She won't look at me and I can't stand watching her be like this. I can't stand to see her blue eyes with tears in them. My hands move themselves without thought to touch her, but I force myself to drop them back down, letting out another frustrated sigh.

"Alex, please- I -I can't just sit-"

I cut myself off with shaken up thoughts, running my hands over my face, wiping the tears that managed to fall from my eyes off of my face to try and rid the evidence.

"I don't know."

The sound of her voice echoing throughout the stall make my hands freeze on my face, removing them to look at her again.

"You don't know what I can do? Do you even want me to help you right now?" I ask softly, hoping she can't here to strain in my voice.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Harry." Her soft voice is mixed and interrupted with sniffles and sharp intakes of breaths from crying.

I didn't know what to say in that moment. Because what should I say, that I don't either? Because I really don't, I don't know what's wrong with her anymore. She tells me she scared, that she's having nightmares, and it seems like at the crash that she couldn't even breath properly. If this was my choice, I would want her to maybe see someone about this. But I can't force her. She's broken inside, and I don't know if I can't fix her. I don't know if I can help her.

So I stay on the floor in front of her on my knees, forcing myself to contain my tears and be a man just to be here for her, watching her as I clench and unclench my jaw to help keep the tears away.

But when I see her hand fall from around their hold on her knees to grab for mine without her even looking up, I clasp onto it tightly and desperately, the tears escaping and my lips letting out a shaky, jagged breaths as I lean my head against her bare legs which her dress had ridden up to reveal, shoulders hunched as I let myself go.

All I knew, as I sat there crying with her, is that I don't know what I can do for her anymore. And that's what hurts the most.



Omg midnight memories was released I can't even

And I got ONE MILLION READS

Sorry it's short but I thought I'd give an early update(: and to clear things up Jessica is the girl who takes Harrys class at the gym who gave him her number