Heartbeat

Restless Nights; Books

Song of the chapter-

Heart By Heart by Demi Lovato

Alex-

2 months later

With the cold, February air nipping at my skin, I walk up to the apartment building while clutching Harrys hand. His hand is warm, my supply for keeping my hand from freezing off. We have just come home from my therapy session for the week. It hasn't been easy to open up there, but I feel as if I'm doing better.

Harry and I are learning to communicate better. After our last fight, we learned we really need to just be open with one another. It was the biggest fight we've ever had.

It was over foolish things. It started with me trying to talk to him about Anne and Dans relationship, telling him he is probably hurting his mothers feelings and that he should at least give him a chance like he is the rest of his family. He was snappy with me right when I mentioned it, and I told him that if he's making me try harder in therapy then he needs to try harder, too. He yelled, I yelled, he was angry and I was crying. He knocked over my lamp in my bedroom and I threw a pillow at him, that's how mad we were with one another.

At that point it felt as if we were just worn out.

Harrys working much more because people had been fired at the gym and they are short on staff, and I have been alone most of the time because of that. As a result to that I've been helping out the old woman, Shan, at the book store which Harry bought me The Outsiders from. And that was another thing that fight spiraled into, that he thought I was hiding it from him for reasons that he wasn't sure of, but I had only just forgot to mention it to him. I shouted at him about never putting Jessica in her place when she's still all over him at the gym, and that made him even more angry because he thought that meant I didn't trust him, and he threw in the fact that I cut myself and didn't tell him to defend himself on that. Thats when I threw the pillow at him with tears streaming down my wet cheeks.

That night was the first time in a while that we slept in our own beds in our own apartments. We didn't talk that next day, and that meant a second night all alone in our own beds. But with us we can't stay away for long, no matter what we said or screamed to each-other, or how bad those words had hurt. When it came to almost the third night of sleeping on my own, I felt him climb into my bed with me in the middle of the night, meaning he'd come into my apartment because he was having another restless night just like me.

We let it rest for that night, because he just held me in his arms until we both fell asleep. But when it came to that next morning, and when we both woke up and laid in silence for a while, we knew we had to do something.

We decided that if we really wanted this to work, we had to be completely honest with one another. No matter if the honesty hurt. He told me he hated it when I tried to talk to him about Dan, because I couldn't understand. He expressed to me that if my mother was still alive, it would also hurt me to see her with another man. And it would have.

I told him that if he wants me to keep going to therapy, he needs to work on him and Dans relationship. Not to get close, but to at least be pleasant acquaintances.

But that was all yesterday, and today seems like a good day as we take off our coats and throw them to the side.

"Lets just lay around the rest of the day?" Harry suggests.

I nod my head with a smile, and nudge my head towards the kitchen to say for him to come help me. He follows me in and starts to help me make tea for us, and as I see the bright yellow cabinets around us, I think of just how far we've come.

How the day when we painted these, I was sat on the counter Harry leans against now, with him in front of me asking if I would ever speak to him.

"I love you." I remind him from beside him, getting two packets of vanilla tea from its box.