My Hazza (COMPLETED)

24

Saturday (07/06/14)

Louis Pov

I'm tired . Physically and mentally. I'm too tired of everything. Seem like I want to end my life right now but I didn't . I have things to do before I'm gone . It's 12 pm and here I am eating a cereal .

I look at my wrist and it's have a plenty of scars. I knew I did that to myself. I didn't mean to cut but it's just .. I don't really know why I did that . Maybe I feel soo freaking alone. And I bet mom will disappointed with me cause her son not dealing well with this awful life .

I know I shouldn't broke up with harry but I just did it to make him less hurt . I don't want him to kill himself when he found out that I'm going to die . I don't want that happen. He should make his life worth .

Seeing how mad Niall were yesterday , makes me believe harry isn't doing well . But last night text , he sound soo desperate to talk to me which is today . And I'm not ready to meet him . I don't want to see his horrible state because I know I caused that .

I sigh and lay down on the sofa . Larry meowing on the floor and I tap my laps to gesture him to sit on my lap and he did . Larry make himself comfy on my laps before makes his body curled in ball while closing his eyes .

I rub his fluffy hair and he slowly purr. I'm going to missed this when I'm gone . I wiped my tears away from my face . I'm supposed to be strong and not weak. My aunt called me last night, saying she missed me , and that she invited me dinner over her house and I eventually said it will be a great idea to meet up and I was actually lied . I'm kind of lazy to put on smile and makes them believe I was okay . It's kind of hard to do but I think I will manage to do it .

My aunt found out about my sickness by accidently , my doctor was her best friend, so I don't know what they talking about till one day , my aunt call me panicking and told me to admitted so that I could get cancer treatment and radiation and which is I refused . She tried to convince me , told me it could extend my life and its kind of bullshit cause eventually I will die so why do all of that ?

So , she kind of give up and respect my decision but she asked me to promise her if I'm not feeling well ,  don't hesitate to call her . Now I have nothing to do and so I decided to take a nap because I didn't sleep well last 3 days because harry wasn't there to cuddle with me . Without my willing , the black dots start to appear and I begin to sleep unexpectedly  .

Niall Pov

" harry ! Wake up . I'm going to do my documentary now with Liam . Takes this opportunity to understand much better !'' I said to him with loud voice . Harry get out from his room with a yawn . " what time is it ? " he asked while rubbing his eyes. " it's 12:30 harry ! " Liam said while sitting down on the chair in front of the camera .

" harry , go behind me and watch this alright ? " I said to him slowly . He walks to my back and I set my camera . " you ready Liam ? " I asked Liam. He sigh and said " as ready as I'll be " good .

Niall : what is on your bucket list today ?

Liam : to visit my parents back at home .

Niall : and why is that ?

Liam : well , I missed them . Only got to see them yesterday but it wasn't enough.

Niall : how is it not enough ?

Liam : I live with my boyfriend in this apartment and we're too busy to go home so yesterday I was in rush to take my things and just leave after saying goodbye . I was there for like 20 minutes.