Not a Diary ➳ LS

Entry Thirteen

Entry Thirteen:

I'm writing a song.

It's for Louis.

Louis always said that he saw the song as it was behind the lyrics. He told me the writer gave a story that it took someone special to uncover.

Louis is definitely someone special.

I've decided that I want our friendship to be something more. Something.. Bigger.

Bigger than the world itself.

I need to know if he feels the same way I do. If he doesn't, oh well. Maybe we'll never talk again or our relationship will be even more strained. Surely he'll hate me.

But if he does, my life would be complete.

So I think I have to take that chance.

Because I'm tired of wandering around in his footsteps. We've come to a cliff, and Louis is going around it. But I have have the chance to jump over it. If we both walk around the cliff, we may never find a way to the other side. We might keep stumbling around for an eternity, me following reluctantly the whole way. And I know I can jump over at any time, but instead I'm playing follow the leader.

I need to take a stand.

So I'm going to jump to the other side.

If I make it, everything will be perfect. Louis will follow me and we'll live out our days on the other side of the cliff, away from all that is a threat.

If I don't make it, I'll fall into a deep abyss of loneliness and Louis will stand, staring at me in disgust from the edge, as I lay hopelessly on the bottom of the chasm. And then he will turn away and keep walking.

And never look back.

This song is like a cliff.

I can trip over the edge of life, or I can win whatever race I've begun.

Harry Styles isn't a quitter, oh no.

He is a winner.

(I'm going to stop referring to myself in third person, now. That was weird. But you get my drift.)

I mean...I...think I love him.

I just hopes he feels the same.

-Harry x