Not a Diary ➳ LS

Entry Seventy-Four

Entry Seventy-Four:

So Louis lied to me about forgetting.

Is that okay? Am I okay? Was he ashamed? Did he really forget? Or was he just confused? Did he not hear me? Am I going to die? Am I already dead? Is even this worth living for? Is anything going to happen? Was he trying to tell me that he liked me? Was he not? What am I doing witing in this instead of talking to him?

Deep breath.

I don't know the answer to any of those questions anymore than I did when my brain imploded at the time. Great mental image, eh?

Well it turned out he 'wasn't really feeling up to coffee after I stared bug eyed at him for 10 minutes straight. (Or ten minutes gay, but you know.)

Instead of asking him to stay, I asked what exactly he remembered.

He gave me a crooked look and said,"everything. And then some." Those were his exact words. They're now carved into the side of my mind forever.

Now I was even more frustratingly puzzled because: Wait. Would Louis...? No. But did he just say..? What?

And then he said he'd take a rain-check and left.

Wow, Harry. That was great on your part. Way to steal that guy's heart! Round of applause!

I'm mocking myself. This is what it has come to.

Now I'm sitting here at one of the cute little benches around the edge of the inside of the shop. It's green. It's adorable. It would have been more adorable if Lou and I were making out on it right now.

I'm sipping at black coffee. I'm too broken to add anything to it. It tastes horrible. I really don't give a shit anymore.

The guy I hired to play guitar is sitting right next to me awkwardly. (I would have called Niall but he's still mad at me.) I'm writing in this as I wonder if maybe the little old ladies at that table over there would've given me a standing ovation. And they would have said "oh dearie you're such a lovely couple!" or go up to Lou and whisper "he's the one!" And wink with their sweet old lady eyes.

And then Louis would blush, but he would know that they were right. I would be the one.

But my day's gone totally downhill and isn't nearly as exciting as that as I mentioned before. Black coffee, random guitar kid, and a diary.

That's almost too much fun to handle.

-Harry