6. Bus ride & Rain

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"Don't forget to call me when you get home, alright?" Meghan said as she hugged me tightly.
"Alright." I mumbled against her shoulder.

Meghan hugged me a little longer before releasing me.

"Be safe now." she said with a wink.
"Yes Meg" I said as I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag from the floor.

I waved at her and went inside the bus. I sat next to a window at the back of the bus. As I looked through the window I kept thinking of this morning.


Without realizing it, I drew loads of sketches and went to bed quite late last night. When I woke up, my sketchbook was opened next to me and the first thing I saw gave me butterflies and made me slightly giggle. It was simple, a green pair of eyes, but I knew damn well who they belonged to and that was enough to make me smile. I quickly closed my sketchbook before pulling the covers over my head. But before I could get over my giggling state, Meghan knocked on my door.

"Anna, it's time to get up! Your bus leaves in two hours." Meg informed me.
"Yeah! I'll be right out."

I got out of bed and opened the curtains. I stared a bit outside. Although there wasn't much to see, the simple fact that it was sunny outside made me smile. I took in a deep breath. I was happy. Me, Annabelle Snow, I was feeling happy.
After months of being under a permanent cloud, I could finally feel the warmth of the sun, and it felt so good.

I sent my mom a quick text reminding her to pick me up at 5 at the local bus terminal before hopping in the shower. I quickly washed myself and got out. Not taking the time to dry my hair, I went to the kitchen to find Meghan leaning on the counter, browsing the Internet.

"Reviews for my exposition are fantastic!" she cheered.
"That's awesome!" I joined in.

She lifted her head to look at me. She was so proud of herself, I could tell.
She was smiling broadly and her skin glowed. Although the success of her art show was to be expected, Meghan always aimed high and did everything she could to reach her goals. And when she finally did, she would always be so happy about it, like it wasn't already granted.

I popped some bread in the toasted and poured myself a glass of chocolate milk. I could feel her eyes on me but I chose to ignore it, not really wanting to talk about what I was feeling.

I couldn't really understand it and I didn't know why it was so strong. Being happy felt slightly ridiculous considering everything that had happened recently, but I knew that the dark clouds weren't that far away and that they would eventually come back. So as of right now, I simply decided to enjoy that bit of sun in my life and worry about the rest later.

"You look happy." Meg stated
"I guess so" I answered with a side small.
"See how changing scenery helped." she proudly said.
"Is this some kind of 'I told you so'?"
"Maybe" she laughed.

For the rest of the morning, we started planning for the next semester, like how things would work and when I would move in. Meghan was so excited as we talked about it, that I almost got excited too. She made it seem like moving to New York with her would change everything.

Maybe it would but I don't know if I was happy about it because there are so many things to deal with at home. But as I said, I decided to forget about my dark thoughts and focus on the future for now.

When I picked up all my stuff from my bedroom, I looked at my phone to check if my mother had answered me. She didn't but I had a text from Harry. As I read his text I couldn't help but smile.

*Good morning Annabelle, hope you have a good day. xx.*

To a lot of people, this was a simple text, but somehow to me, it meant so much. It meant that he cared.

I quickly typed in an answer. *Good morning to you too, annoying laughing boy. Hope you have a good day too!*

I then shoved my phone in my bag before leaving to take the bus back home.


Without realizing it, it had been about an hour that I was lost in my thoughts and that the bus had left New York. I took out my phone and started listening to some music. I then fished out my sketchbook and went through it. You could so easily tell in what state of mind I was when I drew the different drawings. Some were simple doodles that I must have drawn when I was bored. The last ones were just a mess of dark, bold lines that I clearly drew in a state of rage or pain.

When I landed on the ones I did last night, the difference with the ones before was stunning.
The lines were delicate, the forms were simple and mostly there were doodles of Harry's face. I don't know if it's weird that I drew him so much after meeting him only yesterday, but I didn't really care when it came to art. I used to draw strangers all the time and this was kind of the same thing. If he ever came across this, it would be so embarrassing, but the guy did ask me out after knowing me for a couple hours... it's similar, isn't it?
I know it isn't.

Part of me liked that Harry was on my mind. I really don't know what it was. Maybe it was the fact that he seemed to have quite a positive point of view on life or maybe it was that he seemed to care about me. Either way, it was refreshing.

But at the same time, part of me hated that someone else was occupying my thoughts. For months now, Daisy had been on my mind constantly, but ever since Harry showed up, it seemed like she slipped my mind a couple of times. I couldn't let that happen, she should be my priority.

I can't forget about her.

For the next three hours, I thought back to when my family was whole and when we were happy. I don't know why I kept doing this to myself, because every single time, it would only put me in a bad mood.
By the time I arrived in Providence, my mood was back to dark clouds and the weather here represented it perfectly. It was pouring outside and I rushed out of the bus to the small building to take cover. I looked through the window to see if my mom's car was there, but it wasn't.

I'm five minutes early, I just have to give her time.

I checked my phone. Since I texted my mom this morning, I haven't received an answer and slowly the reality of the situation was easing in.
I had a couple texts from Harry that I haven't opened and I was still not in the mood to open them. Being far from New York seemed to make it all feel like a dream. The feeling of happiness that I had this morning seemed irrational as I was standing at the bus stop and looking at the heavy rain.

This is my life. A dark life that felt empty without Daisy. How could I get excited this morning about the future when she wasn't here anymore. It's unfair that I have so many opportunities when she had none. It's unfair that I get to live when she didn't.

I blinked a couple of times to hold back the tears and headed outside. I quickly debated if I should call a cab or just walk back home. In the end I chose to walk back home. Fresh air could definitely help and I didn't really care about the rain. It was a thirty minute walk to my home but I knew that these minutes would be useful. I could use this time to prepare me to what I would find once I get home.

As I reached my house, I saw my mom's car in the driveway. I stopped a second to take a deep breath before unlocking the door. Once I entered, i saw that it was pitch black inside. There was no one in the living room or in the kitchen. I went upstairs to put down my bag in my room, but as I reached upstairs, I saw that Daisy's door was slightly open and I knew exactly what I would find in there. Slowly, I put my bag on my bed before going into Daisy's room.

Like every time I entered her room, my throat became tighter. It hadn't changed at all. Some clothes were still lying on the floor, her books were everywhere and her pictures were up on the wall. Mom had insisted that we didn't touch anything when she passed away and I had agreed. Leaving the room in this state made us both feel like she was still here with us.

I looked at the bed and as I expected, my mom was kneeling next to it with her head resting on the mattress. She had fallen asleep with an empty bottle of vodka laying next to her on the floor. Slowly, I walked to her with tears in my eyes. I had no idea what kind of mood she would be in when I woke her up.

"Mom." I whispered as I delicately caressed her face.

She grunted as she moved a little but didn't open her eyes.

"Daisy?" she asked.
"No, mom. It's me, Anna." I answered with a raspy voice.
"Oh." she sounded disappointed, as usual. "When did you arrive?"
"I just got here."
"Mmh." she simply answered.

She tried to get up but alcohol was still running in her system which made it difficult for her. I reached for her arm but she quickly turned around so I couldn't help.

"I got it." she said flatly.
"I just want to help, mom"
"I don't need your help." she spat.

It's the alcohol speaking, Anna. It's the alcohol.

I kept repeating this to myself to soften the hurt that I was feeling inside. I still stayed close, making sure that my mom didn't trip over on anything. She slowly walked back to her room, mumbling that she didn't need me following her, but I ignored it. She then crashed on her bed and pulled the covers over her head.

"Do you need anything, mom?"
"I need my family back." she said without any emotions.
"I'm here." was all I could say. It was useless to remind her that Daisy and dad were not coming back.
"It's not enough." she whispered before turning her back to me.
"I know." I answered back, quickly walking out of the room as I started to cry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Oh Anna :(
What did you guys think of this chapter? Are things starting to make sense? It's not a big plot twist because I wrote a couple times about it in the past chapters, but I guess you guys understood that Daisy is Anna's sister and that she died not so long ago. If you didn't... well, now you know! haha You'll learn even more about her and her dad in the next chapter.
By the way, I decided that I will be updating this story every Monday. Wih school and everything I don't think I can update a lot during the week but if I have time to write two chapters during the week, I'll update twice that week, but don't count on it too much.

Thank you so much for reading, it means so much to me, you have no idea <3
Don't forget to check out my tumblr : http://www.k-xrry.tumblr.com and my twitter @K_xrry 

A drawing of Harry's eyes on the side. Sort of how I imagine Anna's drawing :)
Please vote and comment! :)


Love you all,
Karry xx.

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