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Katelyn

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Katelyn

There's something wrong with me.

That is what I kept telling myself when my mom refused to contact my birth father. That there was something wrong with me and she didn't want him to know me.

Then as I got older, as that wound of abandonment got more infected by fights with my mother and any other good people in my life, I knew my mother was maybe protecting him from me.

I was destructive.

I can't blame my father for that entirely. But he was the foundation, he was the little flame of anger and I just kept adding gasoline. I can't maintain healthy relationships. Whenever someone is trusting towards me or when I can sense that they might genuinely want me in their life, I flip the switch.

I refuse to set myself up for heartache again. I don't mean to sometimes, it just became second nature.

"Katelyn, how am I supposed to get down?" Rose asked beside me as she looked down at the ground in fear.

"Just jump," I teased and her head snapped towards me in shock.

"I'm kidding," I wanted to laugh. "Go down and I'll guide you from up here. I'll tell you where to put your feet to keep from falling."

She gave me a skeptical look and held my pointed gaze. With a sigh, she scooted down the tree and I told her where to place her feet along the way.

"Do you want me to guide him elsewhere or guide him towards you?" Rose asked once she was on the ground.

"Do what you want, Rose." I sighed before swinging my legs. She let out a sigh and muttered something along the lines of 'stupid, difficult sister,' before walking away. I watched her walk towards Charles and she pointed to the tree I was on. I watched as my father's eyes lifted and lock wth mine for a second before he looked back down at Rose. He muttered something to her before walking towards me.

Standing in the same spot that Rose was standing in earlier, he looked up at me for a minute before speaking.

"Can you come down so we can talk?" He asked  and I looked away from him.

"No," I answered.

"Come on, if I climb up there my tux will get wrinkled. Your mother will have a fit if my tux gets wrinkled." He replied and I turned to glare at him. That's his biggest concern right now? 

"That is not my problem, Charles." I said and he took in a deep breath through his nose.

"Alright," he sighed before removing his jacket.

I took my eyes off him to indicate that I didn't care and I turned my attention to the people walking around the venue. But my ears were still tuned to Charles climbing the tree.

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