Love Letters and Literature

A Night alone and Trying Something New (Edited)

*Mature Chapter*

I settle into my couch and turn on the tv. My damp hair trickles little droplets of water onto my cozy sweater, leaving discolored marks all over my shoulders.

After my shower, I didn't bother with pants, a beautiful perk of living on my own.

I got home from the library around an hour ago and now all I want to do is relax and watch my shows.

I bring my mug of tea up to my lips and sigh happily as the warm fluid heats me from the inside. The clock tells me it's 9:00 pm and I decide it's a good time to see if Thomas wants to talk.

I pull my computer onto my bare legs and sign on to bookish-escapes.com. I notice Thomas is already online and a message from him pops up almost immediately.

IchabodTom
Hello, Darling.

There's something so mature about the way he calls me darling. It speaks levels about his character and values. Older men always know how to speak to a lady better than the ones my age, at least so far.

LiteraryLane21
Hello Thomas, I missed you. What are you doing tonight?

We message back and forth about various things. He tells me about the classes he taught and about the trip to New York next month. We talk about what we had for dinner and what show I'm watching, but as time ticks on the conversations get deeper, as it usually does.

IchabodTom
Have dinner with me on Friday. I've had enough of this silly messaging game, Lane. I want you and I know you feel the same.

I cringe quietly to myself. I know he's getting sick and tired of this game but I'm not ready to quit him yet. I'm not ready to let go and there's no way I'm going to confess my identity to him.

I try to think of something to say that will be a good enough excuse after almost five months of stringing him along but honestly there is no excuse.

LiteraryLane21
I told you, Tom, I'm so shy. I don't want you to grow tired of me but the thought of meeting makes me have a panic attack. I hope you can understand.

Welp, it's official. I'm a lying piece of shit.

I groan loudly and throw my wet head back, running both hands through the damp tresses. Why did I get myself into this situation? Why did I peek at his computer that day in class? I had no right to do that.

Because you never imagined it would actually work, you dumb bitch. Now, look at you? You're all messed up.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

My computer chimes and I look down nervously at my screen.

IchabodTom
If I can't see you then I have a compromise.

My eyebrow raises in genuine interest.

LiteraryLane21
What is your compromise?

I hit send and stare unblinkingly at my computer until his message pops up.

IchabodTom
Let me call you.

I lean back, eyes wide and brain on overdrive.

I know that the phone changes your voice a little but would that be enough? I could alter my voice a little bit maybe and make it work.

I start saying random sentences and words in different voices. I lower my voice but I sound like a guy. I make my voice higher and I sound like a child.

This is ridiculous.

Finally, I speak more slowly and lower my tone just a little bit and I think it might work. I sound more womanly this way and I should sound different enough that he can't tell.