Love Letters and Literature

Battered and Broken

My heart is in my throat as I try to comprehend what's happening right in front of my eyes.

"Clara? What are you doing here? Thomas... Thomas what's going on?" I gawk between the two people standing before me, my blood pressure sky high.

"Sophia, this isn't what it seems." Thomas starts explaining, but Clara just scoffs and pushes past me.

"Yeah it is, Tom, why lie. You were caught." Clara says with a fake laugh.

"No. Nothing happened!" Thomas yells and points his finger accusingly at Clara.

"Whatever, either way Sophia, now you know what heart break feels like." Clara says bitterly at me, and I want so desperately to lunge at her and claw her eyes out but my legs just won't move. She did this on purpose.

How could she?

I watch her walk away until I can no longer see her then my eyes slowly crawl back to meet Thomas's.

Painful tears cascade down my cheeks as I stare breathlessly at the man I love.

"Why?" I ask, barely above a whisper. I want to yell, but for some reason my voice is broken.

"Nothing happened, Sophia. Please believe me." Thomas begs and steps towards me as his hand reaches for my arm, but I jerk it away.

"I don't believe you Thomas! You know why? Because you're fucking drunk again!" I say through a hoarse yell, trying to will my voice to fight for me.

"No- I mean, yes, but I... I was just so."

"So what? Angry? Upset? So was I But you know what I did about it? I fixed it! Michael is gone, he's not a problem anymore." Tears start streaming down my face, and I'm trying my hardest not to let the sobs overtake my voice.

"And I did it all without fucking him!"

Thomas's eyes are red, and he's starting to cry too. His jaw is slack as he tries to think of what to say.

"I didn't touch her, I swear. Please believe me. I love you so much. I don't know what happened."

I roll my eyes and choke on a fake laugh "What happened is you got drunk, blacked out, and picked up a lesbian at a bar."

"It wasn't like that Sophia. I have absolutely no memories of tonight past sitting down at that bar."

"Yeah that's what happens!" I scream and turn to start running towards my car. My fight or flight instincts have kicked in and I've done enough fighting for today.

Thomas chases after me and begs me to listen to him, but it's falling on deaf ears. I already know the truth. Tonight liquor caused him to cheat on me, just like I'd always feared it would.

"Just leave me alone!" I shout as Thomas stands in the way of my car door.

"No no no Sophia oh fuck no don't do this!" Thomas stammers as he shakes his head.

"I didn't do this, Thomas, you did. Can't you see that? This is your fault, not mine!"

"I know it is, I just can't lose you. I've never felt this way before. I've never wanted someone the way that I want you. I'm sorry I messed up, it will never happen again."

"You said that last time you got drunk, remember? When you promised my parents that you would be good to me, and never make me wonder if I can trust you! When you said you'd stay sober!"

"I broke your trust by drinking but nothin else happened. I would never betray you like that! It just isn't me!" He defends but I roll my eyes. How many times is he going to say the same damn thing.