i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

do you have so much pride that you can't even admit you have guilt?

mood: i'll be there- jackson five

Wednesday, September 12th 7:03 am

It was a lonely morning. Niall picked Harry up despite his refusals because he really did enjoy walking with Louis. But Niall being Niall, he forced him in the car anyway, leaving Louis to walk alone. Not like it was a bad thing, it's what he was used to anyway, being alone and all, and he's glad he didn't get too dependent on Harry's presence. He predicted there'd be an empty space where he'd walk next to him but everything felt normal, like nothing changed. Now he finally got the peaceful walk he was asking for a few days ago, glad that today was the day that Niall picked Harry up because today just wasn't the day to be bothered. Not that he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, he simply wasn't in the mood to talk or put effort into attempting to converse.

He's also never been one to talk, even before all of his trauma he wasn't much of a talker unless you spoke to him first. He kept to himself most of the time, waiting for others to interact with him because he never wanted to bother someone if they weren't in the mood to talk. From a young age Louis' been very cautious of the way he's interacted with people, not insecure but cautious. There was never any fear (until recently) in interacting with anyone really. He's always been confident and outgoing (an introverted extrovert) but that doesn't automatically mean he's going out to talk to anyone and everyone he can.

So with Harry gone, he can finally clear his head and have a therapeutic walk. It was quiet besides the constant, but soothing, chirping from the morning birds. The sun was shining and a cool breeze blew through his hair. For the awkward stage between summer and fall, it was such a beautiful morning, almost too beautiful. Nevertheless, Louis soaked it all in, allowing his mind to focus on the beginning of the leaves changing, the plants slowly dying, the half-risen sun, and the cooling down of the breeze. For once his mind didn't wander to his negative and haunting thoughts and wow did he feel better. He never really had time to forget everything and focus on the little things in life. Temporarily letting go of everything for those ten or so minutes Louis had to walk to school felt uplifting until he reached the footsteps of his school. Everything returned. The pain, the fear, the sadness, the thoughts. Those thoughts.

No matter how hard he tried those thoughts seemed to creep back to him. After eleven years he's still afraid of walking into the school that's tainted him through the years, scared his schoolmates would know what he's been through. Not even he could stomach it, how could other people? If they found out there'd be no doubt that the bullying and teasing would intensify. As he walked through the doors with his head hanging low and his body pushed against the wall, Louis trudged his way to his locker. A few people bumped into him both on accident and on purpose but he made it to his locker right when the bell rang.

He sighed because he didn't think his walk took as long as it did, but he quickly unlocked his locker to grab the necessary books when a piece of paper fell when the door opened. A small, folded piece of paper circled its way down right next to Louis' feet. He picked it up, examining it carefully. It wasn't anything new for him to receive notes in his locker, he used to get them all the time in his earlier years of high school, as it has slowed down a bit since then. People liked to taunt him even further because their actions just weren't enough to push Louis farther into the ground. But the familiar, pretty cursive calmed the nerves that appeared when his foot reached the school's property. The word Kitten was beautifully placed on the jagged-edged paper, written between two lines. Unfolding the paper, the note read:

Hey Louis, I hope you don't mind me calling you kitten because I really like it. You probably do hate it but I don't care, I think it suits you really well. But anyway, I wanted to apologize for leaving you by your lonesome this morning. Niall picked me up and I told him to scram; that I had a much better way of getting to school (aka with you) but he wouldn't budge. I hope you don't hate me. I promise to make it up to you sometime. You probably don't care and I'm just making a fool out of myself BUT I want you to know that I missed our walk this morning and I hope your day is going to be wonderful. And who knows, maybe I'll see you later. Bye for now.