i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

you have to kiss it or else it doesn't count

mood: broken- anson seabra

Saturday, September 15th 2:47 pm

Louis laid sprawled out on his bed regretting waking up this morning. He didn't have plans on dying last night, however he really wish he had. It was the time of the year where all his family gathered for their semi-annual parties: one in the spring, one in the fall. To say he hated these parties is an understatement. All it did was bring back the horrible thoughts and memories he so desperately tried to get rid of. These parties are what ignited and created those horrid, evil thoughts that's haunted him since age eight. Before he even turned eight these parties were when he realized something was wrong and the way he was being looked at and treated was not okay.

Nearly ten years later and he still hated attending these parties. He was able to get away from them a few times over the years, but his parents usually forced him to go because they claimed his extended family missed seeing him which Louis thought was complete and utter bull. If his family missed him as much as they said they did why was it that whenever he would go to these parties (as a kid) his cousins would either avoid him, make fun of him, or completely ignore him when they realized he was different. The way he carried himself was different from how they carried themselves as children. He was only a child and was forced to grow up so fast for his own sake. If his family missed him so much wouldn't you think the least they'd do is call or text him? But never once did his phone ring with any of their names over the years.

Yes, he's grown up alongside his cousins and things have changed drastically since he was a kid, but the relationship between him and his cousins remained just as they were back then. None of them would willingly want to talk to him excluding the times they'd attempt to hang out with him out of pity since he was always alone and kept to himself. Some held grudges against him saying he ruined and broke up the family, but he was only a kid, how could he be held responsible?

For the past year and a half Louis was able to miss the party and stay home, but since his parents were making him go, Louis dressed in a casual outfit wearing a plain white tee, denim skinny jeans that were rolled at the ankles, tealish-blue shoes and a brown jacket. He dreadfully waited for his parents to come and get him because there was no way he was going to willingly go to this party. Coincidentally, there was a knock on his door. His mum appeared from behind the creaking door saying, "Are you ready to go bub?"

Louis curled himself into a ball, his back towards the door. He sniffled not realizing he had been crying. "I don't want to go," he squeaked. It was truly heartbreaking to see her son be so distraught over a simple party. "Don't make me go ma, please don't make me go."

"Lou, sweetheart," she began, carefully sitting next to him stroking his hair, "you can't run away from them forever. You've got to face it sometime."

He shook his head as more tears streamed from his eyes, moaning and whining. "No I don't. 's not like they care about me anyway."

"They miss you Louis, they personally asked for you to come."

"Don't wanna go." Louis shifted away from his mum so she wasn't touching him anymore. He didn't understand why he couldn't just stay home alone like he had been doing for the last three parties.

"C'mon, we leave in five minutes." She patted his shoulder before exiting the room, walking down the hall to hers. Not too long after Louis faintly heard his parents having a minor argument about him (like always). "He has to get over it Charles, he's going."

"If he doesn't want to go we shouldn't have to force him," Charles argued. "What good is going to come out of it? He doesn't talk to anyone. There's no need to put him in an uncomfortable situation for hours when he could stay home no problem." It was weird for Louis to hear his dad defend him. Though he does it often, Louis hasn't heard his dad do it in forever.