i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

they say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and yours are empty

mood: count on me- bruno mars

Thursday, October 25th 11:43 am

Another day another dollar. In many ways that applied to Louis— going through the same thing every damn day. Everyday was the same, the only thing that would change would be his outlook on it and today Louis didn't have one. To him it was just another dreadful day another dark thought. He kept to himself more than he usually would, making himself appear much smaller than he already was, put on edge more than usual. All day he tuned out his teachers and would get lost in his thoughts and wouldn't break out from them until the release bell rang.

It wasn't unlike Louis to overthink and get lost in thought, but it was unlike him to allow it to distract him from his schooling. School was one of his escapes, despite the bullying. He may be bullied but at least that was a way to distract him from the nightmare that was his life. It was sad, but he'd rather be bullied than have to live through his past over and over again. But today was an exception. Maybe it was because the days were getting dark sooner and the temperature was dropping, or maybe it was just Louis being Louis. Either way, he didn't feel good.

In a few of his classes Louis heard his teachers call on him to answer a question to which he didn't give one, even when the whole class would look at him and make snarky remarks. He remained to himself, looking down at his desk, drowning in front of people who didn't even care the slightest bit to throw as much as a rope to help save him from himself. Everyone and everything was blocked out. Except Harry, of course. He wanted to but he didn't want Harry questioning or worrying about him. So he did what he did best: act. Harry had his own problems to deal with and adding Louis to the list wasn't something he wanted.

Even though it was mentally and emotionally draining trying to fight all the voices to keep hush while attempting to act okay, he still did for the sake of keeping Harry happy. He hated to be burden in someone's life who exuded nothing but pure joy. The past few days Harry had been sitting with Louis in the library during lunch and ate his food while Louis did his homework. Sometimes they talked, other times Harry let him do his homework in peace, not wanting to disrupt his focus or push him to talk when he so obviously didn't want to. They were in the library after all, so a full-blown conversation with jokes and giggles wasn't the most appropriate, especially after their history in the library.

Today they talked a bit despite Louis not really feeling it. He didn't mind, of course, because it was Harry, and Harry was usually lovely company, but all the talking and forcing his eyes open to make it appear as though he wasn't exhausted and making sure his breathing was normal wasted too much energy. And he knew Harry sensed that he was off but decided to make no comments on it. Instead of addressing it directly he would scrunch his eyebrows and make a few faces letting him know he in fact knew of the whole sham.

By the end of the dreaded school day Louis was feeling slightly better and that's only because of theatre. He could be having the worst day of his life but the minute he stepped into the auditorium he felt so much better, alive even. It may be the one class he didn't feel completely alone. The students were drama nerds, most of the time pushed away from the school's hierarchy. Of course not everyone in theatre was seen as a loser, none really, they were just their own social group. Louis never considered himself to be a part of their social group since he only did backstage stuff— basically like a crew member.

His classmates were never mean to him, but they never really took the time to get to know him. They were nice and sometimes attempted at small talk with Louis, but he usually never replied and when he did it was only in short answers or a slight nod. The only other interaction that Louis would have with the other students were when they encouraged him to get on the stage and take a roll in the script they were sightreading for the day instead of sorting through the racks of clothes, but he'd of course refuse. Louis never would mind, he liked it that way. It felt like the norm and for once he felt the closest to normal he had ever been. At least there was a class that allowed him to feel safe compared to the corroded corridors he had to trudge through all day.