i'm not the prettiest flower but i'll do

maybe things would be easier if louis let his demons overcome him

mood: let me be there- olivia newton john

Friday, October 6th 11:47 am

Louis was eating in his usual spot at the back of the library. And by eating his lunch, he was nibbling on a small spot of the apple his mum gave him before he left that morning. Louis liked using his lunchtime to try to get as much homework done as possible so he can have time for himself at home. He doesn't hang out with people, obviously, but he does hang out with Midnight and that was good enough for him. He scribbled down a bunch of numbers and formulas easing his way through his maths.

"Louis?" Louis thought he recognized the voice but he couldn't exactly pin it to a person, so he didn't look up from his paper. Out of his peripheral he could see the figure sit down across him. Immediately his body tensed and his hand stilled. His body stayed in the same position hoping it wasn't who he thought it was. "Hey Lou, it's just me." The person reached their hand out and touched Louis' hand. He squeezed his eyes shut, not moving an inch. His body was completely frozen and his eyes were beginning to sting. "No, no, it's me, Harry." Harry lightly stroked the back of Louis' hand with the pad of his thumb.

The sound of Harry's name coming from the voice he recognized to be the sweet honey voice of his neighbour calmed Louis a little, but he was still tense. His muscles relaxed just slightly, and he slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head cautiously just to make sure it was indeed Harry. It was. He relaxed at the sight of  the curly lad. When Louis looked down and noticed that they were practically holding hands, he snatched his hand to his chest and gripped it with his other. A few seconds passed and he went back to doing his homework.

"Why're you in here? It's lunchtime." Louis didn't respond and kept doing his homework for a few reasons. One was that Harry could just be such an airhead at times like Louis didn't tell him a couple days ago he ate in the library. But the main reason he kept his mouth shut was to prevent him from crying. He felt like if he opened his mouth all the emotions he tried so badly to suppress and distract himself from would come gushing out. Harry furrowed his brows, eyes darting all over Louis. "Are you mad at me?" Louis shook his head ever so slightly. They had a deal and he didn't want Harry to worry about him. "Why are you ignoring me then?" Louis remained silent once again. His hand stilled and he stared blankly at his paper, fringe covering his face. "Louis." Harry sounded more and more concerned with every word.

"I'm fine," Louis whispered, voice cracking. He tried to go back to doing his homework but his pencil never met the paper and only moved back and forth rapidly, centimeters off the paper. They were coming back. The terrible news and the images flashing through his mind and the dam broke.

"Louis, look at me." Harry reached out for Louis' hand again but Louis retracted both hands into his chest, fisting the pencil. "Look at me." Louis shook his head and kept his face out of sight. Harry got up and sat in the chair left to him, putting his hand under Louis' chin lifting it and turning it to face him. Louis refused to look Harry in the eyes. His eyes were red and puffy, eyelashes wet. He had deep, dark bags under his eyes and they drooped preventing him from opening them all way. He looked sad. He looked exhausted. He looked dead. "Louis," Harry sighed softly bringing his hands to either side of his face, his big hands covering the entirety of Louis' cheeks. "What's wrong kitten?" Harry swiped his thumb over the apple of Louis' cheek, wiping away the tear.

More tears began to fall from Louis' eyes. "My um, my cousin passed." His voice was so quiet it was barely audible and Harry had a struggle trying to put together what was said. He closed his eyes and turned his head out of Harry's hold, not wanting to cry in front of him.

"Louis, I-I'm so sorry. If there's anything I could do." Louis turned away and began to pack his things as quick as he could go but his hands still moved slow.