I laid my head on his chest terrified to go back to sleep. "Get some sleep baby please" Colby said rubbing my back. "I'm scared.." I said. I honestly sound like a child but I don't care, I'm fucking scared. "It's okay, I'm right here. It was only a nightmare" "I-I know..." "Remember, I love you" he kissed my head. "I love you too.." I said and closed my eyes. *time skip*
I woke up instantly hearing my door opening. I felt like shit, my head hurts, my throat hurts, my mouths dry and it honestly feels like I got hit my a truck. "Morning babe" Colby said. "Morning.." I sat up. Okay I'm gonna throw up. "Fuck.." I got up and ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. "Woah baby are you okay?" Colby asked kneeling down next to me and rubbing my back. "Y-yeah.. Just-" I threw up again. "Did you eat something bad?" He asked. "No.. I think I have my period, this always happens.." I said. "Oh shit, I'm sorry" "It's fine, it's just that time of the month" I got up and flushed. "Just give me ten minutes, I need a shower" I said. "Oh, okay.. Well I'll be right here if you need me" he said. "I should be fine, showers fix everything.." I said going out to get clothes. "Did you have another nightmare last night?" "No, trust me you'd know if I did.." "You tell me everything right?" He asked. "Are you saying you don't trust me?..." I asked looking up at him. "I just need to know okay" "Why would I lie about something like that?... You know I don't want him to touch me.." "I know but I know how he is. This is just the fucking beginning (y/n). He's just going to replace me, he always does.." "Why do you just think I'm going to let him get to me?" "Because he knows you're vulnerable. He knows that he can easily control you" "no he can't. I'm not easily controlled.. Just because I couldn't defend myself once doesn't mean can't a second time" "Oh really?" He asked pushing me against my wall and slamming his hands against the wall on both sides of my head making me jump. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breathing steady. It's just Colby.. He won't hurt me "You seem easily controllable to me" he said in my ear. "T-that's just because I know you won't hurt me.. Now please.. J-just let me get in the shower.." I felt tears starting to form. God damnit it's just Colby. "I'm sorry.." He said. I opened my eyes as he backed away. I just grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom and closed the door. "I didn't mean it (y/n).." "Just leave me alone" I said. Why would he do that?... I started my shower and stripped and got in. I just slide my back against the cold shower wall and sat there and cried...
Colby's p.o.v
I'm the worst boyfriend ever. I just needed to tell her that she should learn how to defend herself but I didn't need to push her against a wall. I can't just do that to her. She's nowhere close to ready. She jumped, she thought I was actually going to hurt her. Her voice was shaky like she was going to cry. I don't want that. I'm suppose to protect her, make her feel safe. I can't do anything right, I'm so fucking stupid.
~Taylor signing off 👻
