Kismet's Perfect Fiasco

Episode 3

Cygny

I spent the rest of the day staying pissed for a reason that I can't decipher. Is it because Gonzalo didn't let me touch him? Big no. Hindi iyon ang dahilan.

Wala naman akong period ngayon, pero bakit parang ang init ng ulo ko matapos kong lumabas ng office niya? What the hell is wrong with me?

It's five o'clock in the afternoon now, katatapos lang ng last subject namin at dahil wala akong naka-sched na task today sa CSG at Glee Club, pauwi na ako ng bahay namin.

As I continue to walk towards the pathway of our school, my subconscious kept on mocking me. She is forcing me to admit that I'm disappointed and not on my usual mood because Gonzalo didn't let me touch him.

As soon as I reached the gate of the school, I sigh in defeat because of my losing battle against my bitchy subconscious. Yes, I must admit that I'm just being in denial. Wala nga ako sa mood dahil sa nangyari kanina.

I really want to touch Gonzalo. I know, I must be fool for saying this but the idea of me pleasuring him made the butterflies inside my stomach to go wild. But that stupid Gonzalo didn't let me. He is so workaholic as always.

Habang patuloy akong naglalakad sa labas ng school ay natanaw ko na ang royal blue sedan car niya. Magmula kasi nang maging kami ay lagi na kaming sabay na pumapasok at umuuwi. Siyempre, patago ito dahil paniguradong hindi maganda ang maidudulot nito sa kanyang trabaho sakali mang may makaalam ng tungkol sa relasyon namin.

Sa pagtingin pa lang sa kanyang kotse ay nagsimula na akong makaramdam ng kaba. I began to uncomfortably walk as I overanalyze the things that I should act as soon as I went inside of his car.

Should I act normal like nothing happened earlier or should I stay quiet? But knowing him, he will make fun of me for the whole drive.

I heaved a sigh. Lord, help me get through this.

Nang makalapit na ako sa kotse niya ay bigla iyong bumukas. Bumungad sa akin ang ngiting ngiti niyang mukha. Sa likod ng aking utak ay nag-aalalangan akong pumasok. Alam kong kapag pumasok ako sa loob ay talagang mapupuno na ng awkwardness ang aking buong sistema.

But fortunately, I managed to push away my negative thoughts. I sit on the passenger's seat. He quickly maneuvered his car out of the place where he parked it.

A few minutes had pass, I stay quiet for the whole drive. Hindi ko alam ang tamang salita na dapat kong sabihin dahil punong puno ako ng hiya ngayon. Also, I'm afraid that he might sense that I'm kind of dissapointed on him for not letting me touch him if I utter any word.

At dahil doon ay napuno na ng mga katanungan ang aking utak. Papaano kung mag-iba na ang tingin niya sa akin dahil sa nangyari kanina? Ano na kaya ang tingin niya sa akin ngayon? At saka bakit hindi niya ako hinayaan na gawin ang gusto ko sa kanya? Dahil ba hindi niya na-enjoy ang ginawa niya sa akin?

Yes, I'm a virgin and too innocent for this but as a hormonal teenager, I can't help but to be excited to explore more on the aspects of my sexual desires. I want to be enough for him. I want to be the woman that he will desire to meet at the latter part of the aisle.

I began to overthink but suddenly, I found his hand caressing my thighs and I absentmindedly jerk it away.

I'm blinking, thinking about why I did what I did. But later on, I began to ask myself if this has something to do with my disappoinment on him.