Kismet's Perfect Fiasco

Episode 45

Songs for this Episode:

All Too Well by Taylor Swift

Wait by Over October

I'm A Mess by Ed Sheeran

A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope

Kathang Isip by Ben&Ben

One Thing by Taylor Swift

Fade by James Arthur

Author's Note: Try niyo, please!

×××

Cygny

They said that in order for one to graciously move on, he or she has to learn how to accept and forget. But, how will you ever accept a thing that you don't have any idea about why and how it ended? How will you ever forget something that meant the world to you but suddenly, ended up with no certain explanations?

Thirteen days. Those where the days I spent to answer my questions.

During the first day, the day after the night Hue broke up with me through chat, I cried all day. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Hindi ko kayang paniwalaan na tapos na. Na wala na. Na doon na lang pala matatapos lahat ng pinagsamahan namin.

Doon lang pala matatapos ang lahat sa simpleng chat lang. Sa simpleng let's breakup matapos ang dalawang linggong wala siyang paramdam sa akin. Nakakaiyak na kung gaano kabilis nagsimula ang kami, ganoon din palang kabilis matatapos ang lahat sa nakakalungkot na ako.

The second day was Sunday. Nagsimba kami ni Mom. Mabuti na lang at wala siyang pakialam sa akin. Hindi niya ako tinanong kung bakit maga ang aking mga mata. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung naramdaman niya bang malungkot ako, eh. Pero okay na 'yon. The last thing I want that day was her painful interrogation.

That day, I asked God. I asked Him why He has to challenge me with this dreadful pain? Tinanong ko din sa kanya na hindi pa ba sa sapat 'yung araw-araw akong naghihirap dahil sa pag-trato sa akin na parang basura ng sarili kong ina? Bakit kailangan Niya pang dagdagan? Hindi pa ba sapat 'yon para malaman Niyang matatag ako? Kasi sa problemang ibinigay Niya sa akin ngayon, natatakot akong baka bumigay na ako.

Mahal na mahal ko na kasi si Hue. Bakit kung kailang hulog na hulog na ako, doon pa siya tumigil na saluhin ako? Bakit kailangan niya pang paniwalain ako na totoo ang intensyon ng "I love you", kung siya lang din naman pala mismo ang magkukumpirma na hindi iyon totoo? Bakit kailangan niya pa akong buuin kung sa huli ay wawasakin niya lang naman pala ako?

That time, I answered myself. It's because I am worthless. I don't deserve to be happy. For no valid reasons, I accepted that maybe I am fated to be miserable.

Third day was when I began to slowly give up my pride to Hue. Wala na akong iniingatang pride. Gusto ko na siyang makausap. Gusto ko na siyang patawarin kahit hindi naman siya nag-sosorry sa akin. Gusto kong tanggapin uli siya kahit na parang wala naman siyang planong bumalik.

That day, I messaged him that I will wait. That I know, he is just confused. I know he will come back with his explanations and I will accept it. I will accept him. I will always accept him.