Ready to run

Be honest with me!

Happy Mother's Day! You guys should all appreciate your mom today :D Also, thank you for 3.000 readers! I hope you're all doing great! ❤️
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It was already late and I was sitting in my bed. I was holding a book in my hands. The others were still working out some information about Liam or his family. Nick and I decided to stop for today. We had found and met a brother, so we did a lot. We'll take care of James tomorrow.

There was a silence between me and Nick as we went home. It was uncomfortable, so I was glad when I finally got to my room. I was just more confused than before. I had never thought that Nick might actually like this way, or I might like him before.

That kiss only made things worse. Do I regret it? No not really. Although, maybe. I don't have a clue myself. Why does this always have to happen to me? I sighed and put my book aside. That wouldn't distract me anyway.

I looked up when Celine came through the door. She smiled at me and dropped into bed next to me. Maybe she could distract me a little.

"Alec told me that you met Matt." she said. I frowned. Alec talks to Celine? "Well, he told Elliott and I listened." she said and I laughed. That sounds more realistic.

"Yes, we have a brother on our side." I answered. "He told us a few things about Liam. He seemed like a pretty aggressive kid." I continued. Celine shrugged and sat up.

"I can imagine that." she answered. "The guy generally seems very crazy to me." she said. She is right. Maybe he was just mentally ill.

"I hope that we will soon have all of this behind us and that we can go back again." I admitted. Celine laughed and got up to go to her bag.

"Maybe we won't have a job after that." she said amused. I grinned. Where she is right, she is right. At least she takes it with humor and is not angry with me. After all, we are currently taking a very long unpaid vacation. "How did things go with Nick in general?" she asked as she searched for convenient items in her bag. I frowned.

"Good? What do you mean?" I asked and she grinned but didn't look at me. I didn't like that. I knew that face. It showed me that she knew without knowing at all.

"Well, looks like someone has a crush." she noticed. She took off her t-shirt so that she only stood there with a bra and her jeans. "Come on, Mags. I see the way he looks at you. He's totally into you and you're not uninterested either." she continued. I sighed. Why had she noticed that before I did?

"He kissed me, Cel." I admitted. Her jaw dropped and now she was finally looking at me. She seemed surprised. Very surprised. "I know that's crazy, but I don't know how to deal with it myself!" I defended myself. She sat down on the edge of your bed.

"Magnus Bane! I don't even know you that way!" she said with a big grin and her mouth open. I rolled my eyes.

"This is not funny!" I said and she tried to suppress her grin. I wish it was funny.

"Sorry." she said. "I thought you were in love with Alec?" she asked. Yes, I thought so too.

"I am, but Nick appreciates me and is grateful to me and he treats me well and I don't know what's going on either." I said really fast. Celine put a hand on my thigh.

"Calm down." she said and I took a deep breath. "Just wait, everything will happen the way it should." she said. She was right. I couldn't do more than wait anyway.

There was a knock on the door and we both looked to the door. It was Alec who came through it. What did he want here now? Celine looked at me and grinned. She got up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you." Alec said when he saw that Celine was only there with a bra and no t-shirt. Celine shook her head. It never mattered to Celine.

"It's okay, I wanted to go to the bathroom anyway." she answered. She took one last look at me and disappeared. Great, now it was just me and Alec.

"How was it?" he asked with his arms crossed. He always seemed so strict. Why did he ask me and not Nick?

"It went well, Matt is ready to help us." I replied and he nodded. Silence. Great. "Why don't you ask Nick?" I asked now. He frowned.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. I was mad somehow, because I didn't understand why he's avoiding me for days and then in another moment, he just starts talking to me again.

"Can you finally decide whether you want to talk to me or avoid me?" I asked annoyed. It only confused me even more. Alec sighed and I got up.

"Magnus, I-"

"You know how I feel about you. Do you want to hurt me? Do you want to torture me?" I asked, interrupting him. He looked at me very surprised.

"This is the last thing I want." he answered. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Then why are you doing it?" I asked coldly. I didn't want to show any weakness anymore. All I wanted was to forget Alec. I wanted to be able to look at him without feeling anything.

"I am sorry." he said. "I didn't know." he added. I laughed sarcastically.

"No, of course not." I said and looked away. Alec sighed.

"I'll leave you alone from now on if you want me to." he said and turned to leave my room. Was he serious?

"I want you to finally tell me what you really feel!" I said and took a step closer. "I don't believe you don't feel anything for me." I said. "Be honest with me!" I added. Alec didn't look at me. He probably couldn't.

"I can't." he said and left my room. Now it was quiet. Everything was silent. I struggled with tears, but I suppressed them. I didn't want to cry anymore. Not because of him. I took my book which was lying on my bed and hurled it through my room.

"Fuck!" I called. I dropped onto my bed and sighed. What now?