Ready to run

I'll stay with you.

Good Morning! I'm on my way to Croatia right know, we'll be there on vacation for a week and I hope I get to write at the beach. I hope y'all are doing great! 🧚🏻‍♀️
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*Celine's POV*

I laid in my bed. It was already noon, but we couldn't get out of bed. Elliot was in my arms and I tried to comfort him. He slept. He was pretty exhausted because of Nick. Nick was dead. He had a bullet in his head while Magnus was tied to the sofa.

I don't know exactly what had happened, but it seemed to be suicide because Nick had the gun in his hand. Magnus couldn't do that because he couldn't move his hands. I also knew he wouldn't have done that. He never would have killed Nick. We did not yet know what happened, why he shot himself or why Magnus was tied up.

Magnus wasn't really talking. Most of the time he slept. I think he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. After all, it only happened yesterday. It's not like we've never seen someone die, but if it's someone we liked, it's different. You handle it psychologically differently.

It also stressed me out somehow. I keep seeing Alec kicking in the door and this smoke coming towards us. The first thing I saw when I came in was Nick lying lifeless on the floor. There was blood everywhere. I saw Elliott running to Nick, screaming. I didn't want to imagine how it must have felt like for him. He had lost his friend.

It felt like an eternity until we could actually pull him away from Nick. He didn't want to let go of him and I understood that very well. If it had been Magnus, I wouldn't have reacted differently. I would probably have died internally as well.

Magnus was in a trance. He just stared ahead and often muttered that he was tired. Still Alec tried to keep him conscious all the time. It actually worked quite well, but at some point he also lost consciousness.

Alec called a friend, that was a doctor to make sure he had no smoke poisoning. Fortunately he didn't have any and he was healthy. He was just... tired. Blake and Alec took care of Nick. The two of them didn't seem to handle it very easily either. Especially Blake. Nick was one of them. He was part of the family and we all cannot understand how this could have happened. Why did he do this to himself?

Still, they seemed to handle it better than Elliott. I knew Alec didn't like Nick, but it didn't seem to leave him cold. And Blake is just Blake. He shows himself strong, but he also fights with it, I'm sure of that.

I stroked Elliott and clutched him tightly. I think he needed that now. He needs to know that he wasn't alone. I was with him and I would be there for him. He cried a lot and I'm glad that he stopped for now.

"Celine?" Elliott murmured. "You're still here." he noticed. He seemed to have just woken up.

"Of course." I answered. He turned a little so he could look at me. His eyes seemed very puffy. I stroked his cheek.

"Don't you want some time for yourself at some point?" he asked. I shrugged and smiled a little. As if that was important.

"I'll stay with you." I said. "You need me now." I said. He sighed. Elliott showed weakness and I liked that. Often men don't want to show how they feel. They act like they are strong, but it is actually strong when you dare to show weakness. You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings.

"How's Magnus doing?" asked Elliott. Unfortunately I couldn't ask him that yet. After all, he slept most of the time or Alec was with him, even if the two had a big argument. Like me and Magnus had.

"I dont know." I admitted. "Quite okay so far." I explained to him and he nodded gently. "How are you?" I asked.

"I just don't understand all of this." he admitted. "It wasn't Nick. Nick would never do that." he realized. I would never have imagined him that way. I would have always rated him as a rather happy person. Didn't seem like that now. "Why did he want to kill Magnus?" he asked. I had no answer for that either.

"I dont know." I said softly. "I think Magnus knows more than we do." I said.

"He was my friend." he said. I sighed and pressed him closer to me. "Now it felt like I never really knew him. As if the Nick I knew was an illusion." he said.

"No, you knew Nick." I said. "Only you didn't know everything about him." I let him know. He nodded.

"Thanks, Celine." he said. I smiled a little and he kissed me gently. "Thank you for everything." he said after he stopped kissing me.

Magnus was back here, which means we were going to implement the plan. Even without Nick. We still don't quite know how to do that, but we'll do it.

I often thought about the argument I had with Magnus. I was so angry, but would I actually be able to live without him? Probably not. It was hard for me to be without him when he left me out of nowhere. I mean, now I know why, but at the time it didn't make much sense.

I was alone at the time. Now I wouldn't be alone. I would have Elliott, Blake and even Alec. Okay, I was pretty angry with Alec for playing with Magnus' feelings, but I'm sure everything that happened after that was love. I knew Alec loved Magnus, although Magnus can't really believe it at the moment. Alec would die for Magnus anytime.

I get along with Blake now. I mean, he's very sassy, just like Alec, but I can handle it. I can deal with such people very good and I am sure that he doesn't hate me. These people have become my friends, so I certainly wouldn't be alone, but Magnus would be alone and I really didn't want that.

I understand Magnus' view of the whole, but I don't think he understood mine. I was tired of my old life. Not after everything I've seen here. It's not as easy as Magnus imagines.