Ready to run

I want to kiss you, just me.

Hello, Hello. I usually wouldn't update today but it's such a boring day and since your comments are always entertaining, I decided to upload. Two of my friends asked me to hangout and I told both of them I don't want to and now I'm bored lmao. Maybe your day is boring to so here ya go. I hope y'all are doing good! 🧚🏻‍♀️
_____________________________

I sat next to a river and watched the sunset. I heard the water rushing in front of me and I enjoyed it. The sun had just set and it was getting darker, but that didn't bother me. I enjoyed the cold fresh air here. Also some stars were already to see.

Three more days have passed since we got the call from the hospital and I have to admit it were bad three days. Aunt Hannah cried a lot and I did everything to make her feel a little better.

They turned the devices off the next day. He breathed by himself for a while, but he actually died yesterday morning. I still had the chance to say goodbye to him and I took it.

I had told him all the things that were on my mind. All the things he needed to know before he left us. I told him that I forgave him and that I will never forget him. That he will always be my father forever and that he was a good person after all.

I cried often at night, but Alec was there and actually cheered me up a bit. He often hugged me and I appreciated that. Nick also tried to cheer me up. I didn't know what was between Alec and me because we didn't talk very much.

He is definitely no longer angry with me, but we still haven't cleared it up. I was afraid to discuss it with him, because maybe that closeness would stop and I didn't want it to.

Nick and Alec no longer talked to each other. Not a single word. Alec didn't even look at Nick anymore. I felt very bad about it because it seemed like I had destroyed the friendship. I just hoped that they would get along again. We can't need an argument now.

I didn't know how long we would stay here. Probably not very long, because at some point we would have to go back to the others. I also missed Celine again. However, Alec still had to make up this situation with Izzy and Jace which is in our way.

"Aren't you getting cold?" Alec's voice asked behind me. I turned and saw him approach me. He sat down next to me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I think I will survive." I replied with a small smile. He took off his thin jacket and put it over my shoulders. I smiled at him. "Thank you." I said.

"Are you alright?" he asked and I nodded. Well, meanwhile 'alright' has a different definition. "Are you thinking of him right now?" he asked and looked at me.

"Yes, and of Celine and the others in New York." I explained and he nodded.

"Yes, I miss them a bit too." he admitted. I just nodded. "They will probably have a plan for us to get Liam when we get back." he said. He was right there and I was happy about it, even if it made me nervous. I knew it was not going to be an easy mission.

"And when we have Liam, we go back to our old life." I stated. He looked at me a little sadly and nodded. As sad as it may be, it will be that way.

"I want to talk to you about something." he said rather tense. I looked at him and turned my body a little towards him so that I didn't have to keep looking sideways. "I was acting like an asshole." he said now. "I am so sorry." he explained. There comes the talk, we've been avoiding.

"I'm sorry too." I said now. "You know because I kissed Nick." I explained to him. He sighed and shook his head.

"No, you don't have to be sorry." he said. "You could do whatever you want." he said. Yes, that was true. "But that's exactly what opened my eyes." he continued. I eyed him in confusion.

"You know, when you told me that you kissed Nick, I felt anger inside of me. I thought I should be the one who kisses you. I should be the one who hugs you and says that everything is fine, the one who treats you well." he explained. I listened to him carefully.

"I thought that if I distance myself from you and avoid you, I might be ready then to let you go. But it's you and I realize now that I won't be anymore ready to lose you then than I am right now, which is not at all." he explained.
„Also, I thought it would be better for you, because it wouldn't be hard to let me go, if I won't let you get any closer to me and you already hate me." he explained.

"At some point you will have to let me go." I said, even if it hurt and he nodded.

„I know and I will, but I want to enjoy the time I have left with you." he said, reaching for my hand. My heart was beating fast. "I want to be close to you. I want to feel that you are with me because I know at some point you won't be anymore." he explained to me. I smiled. "I don't want Nick to kiss you or anyone else. I want to kiss you, just me." he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. He smiled broadly.

"I've never been more sure." he said. I laughed, grabbed his sweater and pressed my lips to his. I could feel his cool hands on my cheek. His lips moved against mine and I enjoyed every second of it.

How much I missed that. I had missed nothing more than his soft lips on mine. That was all I wanted. It felt like my whole body was about to jump up and dance through the city. It was even more intense than our first kiss because by now he meant even more to me. After our lips parted, we looked at each other breathlessly. We smiled.

"And what do we do when Liam is gone?" I asked now. Alec grinned, shrugged, and leaned back so that he was lying on the grass. He reached out and I snuggled up to him. Together we looked at the stars.

"Oh who knows." he said. "I want to live in the present." he continued and began to stroke my upper arm. I smiled. He was right, we shouldn't think about what will happen afterwards, but just live right now in the moment.

________________________________
next chapter: You don't have to.