Ready to run

I always cared about you.

Good Morning, I hope you're all doing fine! 🧚🏻‍♀️✨
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*Magnus POV*

I slowly woke up. My eyes opened and I immediately noticed the pain I felt. My body hurt. I knew I had some bruises because I could feel exactly where they were. My face hurt too. I didn't want to know what I looked like.

I was relieved when I realized I was back in my room. My arms were no longer tied and my legs weren't either. I was free. Back home, but when the memories shot back in my head, I knew what I had done.

I had murdered someone. I shot him. I still remember how he ran towards me. He wanted to take my gun away, but I pulled the trigger. Not on purpose. It just happened and suddenly he was lying on the floor with a hole in his chest. I murdered him. I am a horrible person.

I don't remember what happened after that. I generally remember very little. I wasn't feeling very well. Everything was spinning around and I was tired. I was also in pain. How did I get here? Who brought me here? Are the others doing well?

The door opened and Alexander came through the door with a coffee in his hand. I was relieved. He was here and he was fine. He seemed very exhausted. His eyes were adorned with dark circles. His hair was a mess. He had a few injuries on his face.

When he looked at me and noticed that I was awake, he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled sadly. He came up to me and sat at the end of my bed. He put his hand on my knee, which was under the blanket.

"You're awake." he said gladly. I nodded gently to avoid pain. "How do you feel?" he wanted to know. Did he even rest? I cleared my throat.

"Quite well, given the circumstances." I answered with a rough voice. "And what about you?" I asked. "How do you feel?" I added. He smiled a little.

"Now better again." he said. How so? Because I woke up? "The others are fine too. Just a few scratches." he said. I nodded. That would have been my next question. "For a brief moment I thought you wouldn't wake up." he said in a breaking voice.

"But I woke up." I answered. He nodded. "I really murdered him, didn't I?" I asked and a feeling of guilt came over me. I wasn't like that, was I?

"Magnus, you just defended yourself and us." he said. I sighed. So I really had killed him. Not just injured him. Killed him.

"I am a terrible person." I said and Alec frowned. He slid closer and shook his head.

"What are you talking about? Magnus Bane, there is no better person than you." he said. "If I shot this guy to protect you, would it have made me a terrible person?" he asked. I thought about it. "Or did it make Blake a terrible person when he shot that Sebastian to rescue you?" he asked.

"No, no it didn't." I said. He nodded.

"People like us would do anything to protect the people we care about." he said and I laughed a little.

"Well, Blake doesn't really care about me." I said with a grin. Alec grinned too.

"But I do." he answered. I frowned. Did I just hear right? He does care about me? I mean, of course, otherwise he wouldn't have saved me, but did he actually say it? „Look, I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean it. I wish it was different, but I always cared about you." he explained.

"But why did you say these things to me then?" I asked. „Why would you act like you don't care about me and keep pushing me away?" I wanted to know. He sighed. It didn't make much sense to me. He took my hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb.

"To protect you." he said. "And I will continue to protect you. When this is all over, we will never see each other again. You have to understand that." he said. I swallowed hard. "You mean a lot to me and pulling you in here was the last thing I wanted." he explained to me.

"So what? When that's all over, do you just want to delete me from your life? Pretend like I never existed?" I asked and he nodded with a sigh. Was he serious? "You can't do that!" I said.

"I have no choice. At some point you will understand that and be grateful to me. You have your life in New Jersey. This is not your life. I can't stand the thought of you being in danger all the time." he explained. I shook my head. "I won't change and I refuse to change you." he said. I wanted to answer something, but at that moment there was a knock on the door and Celine and Nick came in. Celine smiled when she saw that I was awake again.

"Mags! You're alive!" she said and ran towards me. She hugged me and I sighed because it hurt. "Oh, I'm sorry." she said and let go of me. Alec got up and cleared his throat.

"I'll leave you alone then." said Alec and Celine and Nick nodded. He looked at me again with a sad smile before turning and leaving my room. Nick came up to me and sat down in the place where Alec was sitting. He smiled at me and put his hand on mine.

"I'm so glad you're okay." he said and nodded, smiling. Me too, I thought. "It was stupid of you to run in again for Alec." he said.

The Mortal east side people had just let me go. I didn't go very far and then I met Celine, Blake, Nick and Elliott who were going to get us out of there. For this, Celine wanted to pretend to be someone else, so that Christoph is distracted while they can pass the others. Unfortunately one of them had a gun with him and so the shooting started. We didn't really want to use our weapons but they did.

"I saved him, so I think I did the right thing." I answered. Nick sighed. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't come in time. He saved me, so I had to save him.

"Yes, you're right." he let me know. "I was just really afraid." he added. I smiled a little.

"And me too, never do that again." said Celine with a laugh. I just gorse. "I felt like I was in an action movie! It was..." she told me everything, but somehow I couldn't focus on her. With my thoughts I was with Alexander. I thought about what he said to me. How should we go on?