Recovery 3 (Sequel to Recovery1&2 - Justin Bieber FanFic)

3. Chapter He won't be here tonight

Your POV

It would be a lie if I said that I didn’t wait for the call from Justin. Even though I knew he wasn’t sober yesterday, it was good to talk to him. To hear his voice, his laugh, it was just beautiful. When I was on my way to work and got his message, my heart skipped a beat. And when I say this that is already a miracle, because I haven’t felt my heart for a long time…at least not in a positive way. We were in a relationship for almost two years. It reminded me of the past. Previously, he has texted me several times daily. But I was afraid, afraid that he will hurt me again. I never want to feel such pain. Not because of him never again. I loved him so much, that this pain had almost killed me. But I miss him so much. I'm torn.

“(YN) you coming for lunch?” Asked Pedro, my colleague and thus took me out of my trance. I wasn't very productive today.

“I guess I'll stay here. I’m super busy.” I said and gave him a smile. His dark brown eyes looked at me disappointed. I knew that he likes me more than I would like him to but I told him that more than friendship doesn’t work with me and he assured me that it was okay for him.

“Should I bring you something? I mean you have to eat something anyway.”  He asked caring and smiled at me with his perfect white teeth. I had to smile and nodded. I have lost a lot of weight in the recent months. The food didn’t taste as good since Justin had left me. Nothing is as good as before.

“The usual, I suppose.” Pedro said, winked and left the office. Now I had an hour to work alone in the office, in peace. Sometimes I miss working at Scooter’s, especially the great team. But here I knew that what I do is for a good cause. It feels right. I still have to send Justin the official invitation by email, but I don’t want to do so before he called me. Otherwise it would look like I want him to remember me or something like that. I know how stupid that sounds, but this is the way it is. I was nervous about the event, especially because I will see Justin again. I haven’t seen him for so long. The last time was so bad. At that time we were already separated for 3 months.

*Flashback: Ryan’s Birthday Party*

“(YN), Ryan has promised me that Justin won’t be there. You have been at home long enough, let's have some fun.” Miriam said. She knew that Justin and I were no longer together, but she didn’t know how bad it was. The only one who knew was Johanna, who sat next to me on the couch and made her nails.

“I don’t know. I'm really not in the mood.” I mumbled into the phone. Thanks to TMZ, I knew Justin was certainly for a week with Dean in Atlanta. I hate Dean, he is to blame for all of that.

“Come on, I'll do your hair, makeup and nails. You'll look stunning.” Said Jo, who is more than worried about me for weeks and I feel sorry for her.

“Yeah, listen to your best friend. I'll pick you up in 2 hours.” Miriam said, and before I could object, the line went dead. Shit, what do I do now? I pulled the sleeves of my sweater over my hands after I had placed the phone on the coffee table and snuggled back up on the big couch.

“That will be fun.” Johanna assured me. I just rolled my eyes and buried my face in a pillow. Jo was already showered and styled, unlike me, I looked like a pile of misery. “Now go take a shower.” She said determining, after she realized that I was moving no piece. Reluctantly, I did what was I was asked.

My reflection pissed me off. I look terrible. I let the sweater fall to the ground and thus bared my forearms. I definitely have to wear a dress that has long sleeves. My fingertips stroked the scars that I've caused myself. They were still red, but healed well. Now I know that it was a mistake, but at that time I didn’t know how I could bear the pain in me. I was hoping that it helps. My gazes back to the mirror and landed on my face. Jo will need a lot of makeup to make me look good.