ATHENE {remus lupin}

FIFTY NINE

Athene glanced across at the man lying beside her. The sun had risen but neither had moved in hours. The night before had been amazing, again. Remus was on his back, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the woman next to him to wake up, and Athene was slowly opening and closing her eyes from where she lay on her side to watch him. She wished she could see what he was thinking. He looked unbothered, bored even. She felt stupid. Two times. She'd let her guard down twice. Who does that?

Remus was constantly staring back at her and eventually caught her with her eyes open. The man cleared his throat slightly. He didn't move from being on his back but tilted his head to stare at her. Her eyes were closed but when she opened them she found herself staring right at him.

"We certainly have a habit of complicating things, don't we?" He said quietly, running a hand through his hair.

Athene laughed, almost relieved at his normalcy, "yes, I think we do."

The two lay in silence for a few moments more, both trying to make sense of everything.

"Are you going to start telling me you hate me again?" He asked, remembering what had happened when they were staying at 19 Grimmauld Place.

"Are you going to try and leave later today?" She shot back, narrowing her eyes at his accusations.

Remus looked at her and gave an exasperated sigh, she never failed to make him feel overridden with guilt.

"I'd never hate you, Remus." Athene said when he didn't speak. "Even after you try and leave me."

"I'd hate me. I'm a monster."

Athene huffed at him. 

"We've been over this, I'm more of a monster than you." 

"We don't make sense. We," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "Us. This, confuses me."

"What does the brain matter compared with the heart?" Athene whispered to him.

He smiled, "You can't just quote Woolf and ignore everything."

Athene sat up and ran a hand through her hair. She stared at him accusingly.

"I'm not ignoring anything, Remus. Are you?"

He looked at her with raised eyebrows, he looked skeptical, "you cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Athene rolled her eyes, "If I've already quoted Woolf, at least think of something a little different."

"That was from A Voyage Out, yours was Mrs Dalloway, I think I win."

Athene smirked at him.

"What are we doing?" He asked her softly. "You changing the subject really was you avoiding life."

"I-well... I think... I don't like our friends agreement..." she whispered back. "Not that I don't like you being my friend, I just..." She tailed off.

Remus exhaled. 

"Right, well, me either." He said awkwardly.

"Good."

"Good." He repeated.

"But..." She started, "now isn't really the right time."

"You're right."

She rolled her eyes again, "you never fight for me."

"That's not fair, you know how much this scares me." He sighed.

"I know."

"I've lost everyone. Everyone I have ever loved."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's fine."