Chaoskouji

Arc 6 Chapter 12.5.4 - SS Kushida 3

Today was shit.

God, it was awful. Nonstop cheering, supporting people I detested. Cheering them up, motivating everyone, my usual activities but multiplied by 100.

Of course, it was a net positive in the end. With all the problems that happened in the day, with our participation table changed, with our classmates retiring sick, I had ample chances to prove how trustworthy I was, how reliable I was, how good of a friend I was. And with all the races I did well in, or won, thanks to Ayanokouji, I once again cemented myself as a central figure in our class.

Despite all the annoyances, frustration, in the end it was all worth it. Today had been worth it.

Of course, the day hadn't been without entertainment. And that's why, as I lay in bed finally having gotten home from the celebrations, I couldn't help but giggle in happiness.

Normally, after such a day I would be doing my best to relax, avoiding my phone and any messages, drinking some water and trying not to vomit. Normally, I had to go through a calming ritual to even be able to sleep. I had to try and forget about my 'friends' and all the inane bullshit they complained about. I had to forget about every boy who asked me out, who's gaze I could feel on my thighs, on my breasts and had to pretend like I ignored it.

It made me proud, sometimes, to know how amazing I was, how attractive I was, and that every boy would lust after me, making them so very easy to control. When I wasn't completely disgusted by their actions, it made me giddy, to know that I could so very easily manipulate them. To know that just by acting nice, I could get anyone to do whatever I wanted, by being someone reliable, because girls trusted other pretty cute girls, I could get away with almost anything if I was careful, just because I was so perfect. But most of the time it made me ill.

There was only one person I wouldn't mind looking at me like that, but he never seemed to care. Maybe that was why I wouldn't mind if he stared.

But what he had done today, what Kiyotaka had made our entire grade to do... it was insane. It was beautiful. It was amazing.

I had torn a single class apart, and caused small problems in an entire grade, but that was the result of years of effort being exposed. He had gone around with a few conversations, one secret as leverage, and predicting the actions others would take.

The result was pure chaos in our own class, and the supposedly best class in the grade completely broken again, coming in last. The result was our class being smashed by Ryuuen, but still winning when it mattered. The result was my being able to tease the shit out of that bitch Ichinose, to push her buttons constantly until she broke. I couldn't help but smile when I saw her walking away from me with tears coming out her eyes.

I could never trust a person like her. So oblivious to the people around her, and always so fucking nice. It makes me sick, to know that there's such a genuinely nice person around, someone threatening my chance to be the best. I can only thank Kiyotaka for giving me the chance to bully the shit out of her, just for one day.

But of course, we won. We had Kiyotaka to lead us to victory, there was never a chance of us losing. Just thinking about how I once wanted to expel him makes me upset with myself. To think that I once hated him, that I wanted nothing more than to get rid of him along with the bitch Horikita.

And now, I can't imagine life here without him.

I never really cared about graduating from Class A, but he is the only one who could stand up to people like Ryuuen, like Sakayanagi. If we didn't have him, then we'd languish in pathetic amounts of points forever. I wouldn't have the millions of points he'd been securing for months.