My Simpsons Guy Story

chapter 6: Sharri Bobbins

The family and Meg sat down together to speak with Sharri to make the arrangements of her being the family nanny. Even Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper seemed to like her so far.

"Now, Miss Bobbins," Homer said as he had some paper and pen with reading glasses. "If you want this job, you're going to have to answer a few questions. First, do you have any bad habits?"

"No, I'm practically perfect in every way." Sharri replied without sounding snooty.

"Well, so am I." Homer smiled, he took out a carton of milk and drank it down while scratching his butt like a monkey.

Meg looked visibly disgusted, but said nothing so she wouldn't be rude.

"Okay, question two," Homer said after a belch. "Who was your last employer?"

"Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex." Sharri informed.

Homer blinked, then whispered to Marge about if he knew them or not. "So, you worked for Carl, eh?" he then asked loud enough for everyone to hear, Meg thought maybe there was some communication since he said 'Carl'. 

"I have a question," Bart cut in with a smile. "Pop Quiz, hotshot... I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but you find me upstairs, reading a Play Dude. What do you do? What do you do?" he asked frantically, expecting an unusual answer.

"I make you read every article in that magazine, including Norman Mailer's latest claptrap about his waning libido." Sharri replied without any trace of fear. 

"Ooh, she's good." Homer was pleased.

"Impressive." Meg smiled at Sharri's answer, maybe after this, she could talk Sharri into doing something about the Griffin household.

"Sharri Bobbins, you're just what we're looking for." Marge stood up with a smile.

"Very well, come along, children." Sharri smiled as she grabbed her umbrella, walking with Bart, Lisa, Maggie, and Meg upstairs merrily. However, when Sharri went upstairs, she sat on the banister and slid up it, making it look very clean strangely and exotically enough.

"Yuck, Bart," Meg said once they came to one of the bedrooms. "This place is a dad sty."

"Don't you mean pig sty?" Lisa turned to her pen pal.

"Same thing to me if you've met my dad." Meg looked back to her.

"Alright, children," Sharri got their attention. "Let's clean up this room."

Bart and Meg groaned.

"Do we have to?" Lisa asked.

"Now, now, I know a little secret that will make the job go twice as fast." Sharri smiled at them as she came closer into Bart's bedroom.

"I hope she sings us a song!" Meg looked very giddy.

Sharri did indeed sing them a song. She told them to basically hide everything in the room so it would look clean. Such as hiding things under the bed or lock them in the closet. Meg, Bart, and Lisa really seemed to enjoy this way, even if it was lazy compared to most nanny work. Lisa even accidentally put Maggie inside the toy chest, but Meg noticed the baby and gently took her out of it while Bart threw his trash bin into the Flanders' yard. Homer and Marge were pleased to see the room was clean and walked out with the kids, Homer shutting the door behind them.

Sharri decided to take the kids out, wearing their best clothes. Bart had his hair combed down with a blue suit with blue shorts, Lisa wore a pink dress with a sun hat, Maggie wore the same thing, only blue, and Meg wore her church clothes, which allowed her to still wear her beanie with a purple jacket with a long skirt and dress top with black boots.

"Hi, diddly ho, Sharri Bobbins." Ned greeted as he passed the kids as they came through the park.

"Yo, Sharri Bobbins!" Snake Jailbird smirked.

"Wow, I never knew you were so popular, Ms. Bobbins." Meg smiled.

"Call it a gift, my dear." Sharri smiled down to her.

Even Nelson Muntz came up to the nanny woman and gave her flowers. He seemed to had a crush on the woman. They kept walking until Groundskeeper Willie was shown with an accordion,drum, trombone, and harmonica, singing a little crudely as people stood by, looking uninterested.

"Bart, is that the guy who works at your school?" Meg pointed.

"Yeah, that's Willie," Bart nodded to her. "He can also tell if someone has the 'shinning'."

"Don't you mean Shinin—"

Bart covered her mouth, shushing her. "You want us to get sued?"

"Sharri Bobbins," Willie noticed the nanny after the crowd left, he made it seem like she was an old friend of his. "Is that you?"

"Hello, Willie." Sharri greeted the Scottish man.

"You guys know each other?" Meg asked.

"Aye," Willie gave a nod. "Sharri Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the Old Country... Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her."

"It's good to see you, Willie." Sharri gave a nod.

"That's not what you said the first time you saw me!" Willie called as Sharri went off with the kids.

The kids walked off and it seemed like everyone was doing a play off of stereotypical old-time England. Meg seemed to be the only one who noticed though, but she said nothing and kept walking until they got back to a nice windy spot.

"Are you ready to fly kites, Megan?" Sharri asked.

"Yeah, I never flew one before." Meg smiled sheepishly.

"Not that hard, I'm sure you'll enjoy it." Sharri smiled back to her.

soonenough, Meg, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie were flying kites all together. Meg smiled as the wind flowed through her hair. 

"Oh, Sharri Bobbins, this is ever so much fun!" Lisa beamed.

"Yeah, I feel so free!" Meg squealed with delight and glee.

"With you, every day is Guy Fawke's Day!" Bart added.

Maggie put her pacifier back on as her kite rope was tied to it. Mr.  Burns came by, looking more like a grinch than Ebeneezer Scrooge on Christmas Day. Sharri then got him to fly a kite and even though he was struck by lightning, even he seemed to be in a good mood with this whimsical woman around. 

After the park, Sharri got the kids in their pajamas and it was 8:00. She decided now would be a good time for them to go to bed.

"But we're not sleepy." Lisa told the woman.

"Can we have another song?" Meg asked, hopefully.

"Yeah, sing us a song!" Bart and Lisa agreed.

"I've been singing you songs all day, I'm not a bloody jukebox!" Sharri nearly snapped at them, which frightened the four of them, even Maggie slowly sucked on her pacifier, she then gave in once she realized what she did. "Oh, alright."

"Yes!" Meg chirped once she climbed into bed with her best friends, removing her glasses and was lying with the siblings in the bed big enough for the four of them.

Sharri took out a snow-globe that looked like it had Moe's Tavern in it as she sang a song about Barney Gumble. It was a little inappropriate for young children to hear, but she had such a heartwarmingly sweet voice that it felt like a lullaby to them.