My Simpsons Guy Story

chapter 33: Quahog Clam Day

The Simpson and Griffin family were going to a town festival known as Quahog Clam Day. Mayor West was there and he was going to speak about a history of clams about a man named Miles who washed up to Quahog centuries ago. 

"This is a pretty cool fair, Meg." Bart said once he and Lisa saw their friend. 

Meg smiled to them. "I'm so glad you guys could make it!"

"Didn't you invite your other friends?" Lisa asked out of curiosity.

"They all had plans." Meg explained.

"Oh..." Lisa frowned.

"You'll meet them at the slumber party though."

"Oh, cool, Sarah says she wanted to come, but she's worried that her urges will get the better of her."

"That makes sense..." Meg was a little sad that Sarah couldn't come to the fair or the slumber party, but hopefully they could all do something nice together sooner or later.

Chris was with the other Griffin family members and he threw a ball to dunk the fisherman at the dunk tank, making him fall and the sharks bit and ate him, making a lot of blood come to the water. Lisa looked disgusted while the Griffin family laughed. Except for Meg. She didn't find it funny at all.

"Oh, how fun." Lois smiled.

"You think that was fun?" Marge glared at the fellow mother. "That's totally violent and I don't think I appreciate children being subjected into it!"

"Oh, relax, Simpson, it's for a good cause," Peter scoffed. "All the money goes to the fishermen who've been eaten by sharks."

"I wouldn't mind seein' you be eaten by sharks..." Homer mumbled under his breath.

Lisa heard a lot of people grouping together as Mayor West was coming up on a stage. "Guys, the show's about to start!"

"Aw, great, I'll see ya guys later then." Peter went beyond the crowd as he was going to meet with his friends for something he was apart of for the show.

"What's your dad doin', Meg?" Bart asked as they walked to meet with the other people.

"He said it's a surprise," Meg rolled her eyes slightly. "I bet it's gonna be totally embarrassing though..."

"Just remember, we have that slumber party to look forward to." Lisa soothed her, hoping that would keep her pen pal in a good mood.

Once the people gathered together to meet the Mayor, he introduced Adam West to the crowd and everyone clapped and cheered in response. Mayor West was going to give the people a little taste of history, as well as Peter's surprise. 

Mayor West spoke of a man named Miles who loved to talk and mentioned he had met a talking clam and after the clam ran away due to Miles trying to kill him, Miles never spoke again after that, but every year, until his death, a combination of tuberculosis and a tomahawk to the head, he went to the shore on this day in hopes that the magic clam would return and that this was a tradition. Lisa thought it was an interesting, yet odd story at the same time. 

"What's that?" Mayor West looked ahead before getting a telescope. "Something out at sea? CLAM HO!"

The people looked to the ocean to see the magic clam. Bart and Homer were actually thinking that a real talking clam was going to come and see them. Marge didn't want to ruin it for them, mostly for Maggie's sake in case she believed in the story too. Meg looked annoyed, she just knew this was going to end in total humiliation.

"Wonder what that lazy bum did to be able to be the giant clam thing." Homer scoffed about Peter being the clam this year. 

"Aren't you proud of your dad, kids?" Lois asked her children.

"Are you kidding?" Meg scoffed. "God, this is worse than having Ronald McDonald for a father."

Peter was seen, trying to swim in the foam rubber clam costume, but he had a lot of struggles.

"Look, guys, it's a whale dressed like a clam!" Homer called.

Bart and Homer both laughed at the joke.

"Homer, don't be rude!" Marge scolded. "It's not Peter's fault if he looks like a whale..." she then gently said with a smile, making Lisa, Meg, and Maggie laugh along.

"Don't you dare speak about my husband that way!" Lois hissed at her.

"Oh, a woman fight, how exciting!" Stewie cheered as he took out money from his overalls pocket. "My money's on the blue-haired one!"

A big wave came crashing down on Peter and his swim trunks came away from him and he crash landed in the middle of the sand in front of everyone, upside down without his shorts. How embarrassing. 

"Huh, so that's what Peter's penis looks like." Brian deadpanned while everyone else looked away in horror.

Meg walked with Maggie, holding her hand. "I can't believe Dad embarrassed me like that!" she cried out, then sighed and looked down at the yellow girl next to her. "Be lucky you have a great dad, Maggie, mine's totally embarrassing."

Maggie blinked, then hugged the girl's legs with a sweet smile.

"Oh, you're so sweet," Meg bent down and hugged Maggie back. "I wish I could have a sister like you..."

Maggie stepped back and took out a pink teddy bear she won from one of the games and let Meg keep it. Meg smiled to her and held the bear, feeling a little bit better. 

"Come on, Mags, we gotta go," Bart picked up his baby sister. "Try to keep high hopes tonight."

Meg hugged the bear. "See ya, Bart," she waved to the boy she really liked. "Bye, Lisa, see ya tonight!" she called to the older Simpson girl. 

"Bye, Meg, and no matter what happens, I'm there for you!" Lisa called back as she left with Homer, Marge, Bart, and Maggie.

Meg smiled, then went to get in the family car to get back home and prepare for her slumber party.