My Simpsons Guy Story

chapter 26: Neil Goldman and Tom Tucker

It was a typical morning in James Woods High School. Meg walked with Bart and Lisa to class and they all sat in their assigned seats. Bart and Lisa couldn't help but scowl to Ruth, Patty, Esther, and Beth. They were glad Meg was able to make friends while she was back home here in Quahog, but they just didn't really like the girls too much because of how shallow they actually were at times. It was a normal class and the teacher mentioned that there would be a guest from the AV club.

Meg groaned, that only meant one thing. "Neil Goldman..." she muttered.

"Who's Neil Goldman?" Bart asked her quietly.

"This total geek who has a crush on me..." Meg muttered in annoyance. "He's so annoying!"

"At least somebody likes you around here." Lisa shrugged.

"You don't get it, Lisa, he's just the worst..." Meg said back to her.

Neil came into the room with a television and remote in hand, he had curly red hair, acne, glasses, and braces, looking like a stereotypical nerd. Bart and Lisa were already annoyed by him as well. Lisa had to admit though, this reminded her of her relationship with Milhouse, she then had to wonder if Neil was maybe a friend of Chris's.

"What I'm about to show you is a fight scene from Star Trek, season one, episode 18..." Neil said before turning on the TV to show the popular science-fiction show and show William Shatner switching from Fred Lubins.

"He is the biggest dork on the planet!" Meg said, looking to Lisa.

"I see..." Lisa nodded in agreement, this guy was a bigger dork than Milhouse and that was really saying something.

"And so, because of his rough-and-tumble style of command, Captain Kirk is clearly superior to Jean-Luc Picard," Neil concluded as he walked up to the class, but leaned on a specific desk. "Any questions.... Meg?"

"No, leave me alone!" Meg was disgusted.

"Get outta her face before I make ya, buddy!" Bart snarled.

"Thank you, Neil, for that incredibly irrelevant presentation," the teacher shooed him away. "We all know that Captain Picard is the superior officer."

Beth was given a note, then whispered to Lisa. "Pass this to Meg."

Lisa was a little unsure about doing that, but did as told. Meg took the note and opened it up, looking to Neil and was embarrassed and irritated by him. She crumbled up the note at her desk.

Connie D'Amico came to the door. "Hey, everybody! Mr. Lazenby's getting arrested!"

Everyone rushed out of the classroom as a couple of officers came for said teacher.

"What's he getting arrested for?" Lisa asked.

"His teachings about ejaculation and time travel with the evolution theory." Connie explained, she still sounded icy even when she was excited about this type of news.

"Wow..." Lisa narrowed her eyes.

"Not even Homer would be that stupid." Bart muttered under his breath, but it earned a laugh from Meg, he smiled at that, he loved to hear her laugh, it was music to his ears.

"Hello, Tom Tucker live at James Woods High School, with this sensational breaking story," the beloved news anchor of Quahog was standing by the lockers, trying to block out various students trying to be seen on TV in their school. "A teacher caught molesting children with crackpot theories. Full story 11:00."

"Oh, my God!" Meg sounded like a hyper fan girl. "That's Tom Tucker from the news!"

"He's no Kent Brockman." Bart had to admit.

"Hey, kids," Tucker waved as he came by the three high school students. "Remember, Mr. T says: 'I pity the fool who does drugs'!"

Meg felt like she was in love as she watched Tucker leave their school, walking slowly.

"What an amateur, right, Meg?" Bart scoffed, then smiled.

Meg didn't answer, she was lost in her daydreams.

"Meg?" Bart looked to her, waving his hand in front of her face. "MEG!"

"Oh, I think she's in love, Bart..." Lisa told her brother.

"But she seems me all the time..." Bart had a secret that he was hoping that moving to Rhode Island and finding out Meg still lived there would be a chance for him to have his first real girlfriend and that it would be Meg.

"Not with you," Lisa rolled her eyes. "Tom Tucker apparently..."

Meg blinked, feeling deeply in love. "Um, whatcha guys doin' after school today?"

"We were gonna-"

"Watch the news?" Meg smiled. "Me too!"

"Uhh... Actually, Meg..." Lisa blinked to her. "We were gonna probably come over to your house... Or you could come to ours if you wanted... We live in Cleveland Brown's old house. So, you'll know where we are."

"We were also thinking of getting a new pet for our new house..." Bart said to her.

"That's cool, see you guys at my place to watch the news!" Meg sounded obsessed with the news for her age now for some reason.

"Uhh... Yeah..." Bart sounded anxious about that. "We'll see ya later..."

"Okay..." Meg giggled, she was eager to go home and watch TV now ever since Tom Tucker shared eye contact with her without throwing up.