• MBTI Imagines •

(30) ENFJ X INFP

Disclaimer: Just by the song above, I think it is a bit clear that this won't be happy. Also, this is written a bit differently from the other imagines and in a different perspective than what the song portrays.

(Another ENFJ and INFP fix. I couldn't help myself)

ENFJ (male) x INFP (female)

SABINA

The park is cold tonight. The take-out cup of hot tea doesn't help me feel a bit of warmth. Even if I'm sitting beside the man I supposedly love now...I still can't feel any warmth from him.

It's not his fault, though.

It's because I refuse to feel such warmth he would willingly give me.

We've been silent for the past moments, mindlessly staring at the empty playground before us. If this was a few months ago, I would be in his embrace - cuddling him on this wooden bench and relishing in the fact that it's only the two of us in this park. Our park.

He helped me stop crying over another man that completely changed my life and the way I perceive love. Just because I stopped crying and have learned to smile again doesn't mean that I have completely forgotten that man...and that I've moved on.

And the man beside me now, Jude - my ever-patient Jude, knows.

I know that we're going to break up tonight. It's the tension between us that has been building up for the past few days.

There are too many emotions running through me that I am unable to comprehend quickly. I love both of them. But every time I look at Jude, I start to imagine that he's someone else.

...And regarding him as a different person, the man who has really captured my heart, makes me glad.

"I know that I'm not him," Jude suddenly speaks in his gentle voice. I refuse to face him because I know that I'll immediately burst into tears. "and I'll never be...so I should stop trying, Sab."

His voice did not waver at all. It was as if he was telling me something so trivial, something that is normal for others to say. Jude has always been strong when it comes to emotions.

"Jude, you know that I love you," I whisper, still looking at the playground before me. The monkey bars have a bit of rust spreading from the top bars. My attention has to be elsewhere. I can't look at him because if I do, I'll forget that it's Jude before me and not that person.

"I know you do," he replies after a few quiet moments. He takes another few seconds before he continues, "Yet, whoever said that our hearts are only capable of loving one person has never indeed known love. I know you love me, but not in the way that you can see me."

His words instantly pierced my heart with the truth of our relationship. Gripping onto my cup, I finally look at him. His face is illuminated by the incandescent light from the lamps scattered around us in the quiet and cold park.

I expected some animosity written on his face, but I only find him regarding me with those soft eyes and a delicate smile that would sometimes make my heart race.

"What..." My voice trailed off toward the end. There is no point in asking him for clarification.

"You know what I mean."

And I do.

So when I leave Jude at the bench with my final words to him as "I'm sorry for everything," I begin to think of what will become of him now. What will become of me? What will become of us? Well, with whatever part of us is left...

My heart beats against my chest and tears are threatening to escape my eyes that it's now stinging. I can cry tonight and for the next few days, but I know that through time, things will change.

Our park will slowly turn to merely a park. And Jude's face will eventually be another passing one.

One that I might smile to out of respect, but never would spend any of my thoughts on.

JUDE

She always had this far-off look on her face. That was one of the very first things that made me fall for her.

I always thought that she looked that way because she told me that she had an adventurous yet loving imagination. I always thought that I was the subject of her imagination.

I was completely wrong.

Because despite loving her far-off look, I grew bitter about her look of realization. Her eyes would waver and her brows would slightly scrunch together - her thoughts betrayed her eyes.

Who is this before me? Why is it this guy and not him?

I knew that thought would run through her mind when she would return to her senses when I've finished stroking her hair the way she loves it, when we've finished a meal together with her favorite dishes, when I've finished singing her favorite song.

All of these things happen because I am not the one associated with the memories of all her favorite moments.

"Jude, you know that I love you."

Of course, I do. I wanted to reply. You are in love with my words and actions, but never with me.

"I know you do," I reply instead. Sab has been feeling lost for the past weeks in our relationship. At first, she never acknowledged it, but I knew that she was beginning to notice it a few days ago.

She may not have the courage to bring it out to the open. But I do.

Did you ever truly love me at least once in this relationship? That question has been running through my mind nonstop. A part of me wants to voice out that question, to find some clarity in this kind of unfair treatment I've been getting.

Yet...I can't do that. I am the man who stopped her tears. I don't want to be the man who would make her find another reason to cry again.

I then decide to continue after our shared silence, "Yet, whoever said that our hearts are only capable of loving one person has never indeed known love. I know you love me, but not in the way that you can see me."

My words must have struck a chord with her because she immediately looks at me. The first time tonight. Her cool and somewhat emotionless countenance does not betray whatever she might be currently feeling inside. Wow, that's my Sab. Strong in her own way. I can't stop myself from feeling a sense of pride surge within me. I did help in gaining back confidence in herself. I smile softly at her.

"What..." she begins but her voice disappears in an instant.

"You know what I mean."

She doesn't say anything after that. A silent agreement is made between us.

We break up as the quiet and cold night progresses. She apologizes. Those are her final words to me. For both our sakes, I keep silent and nod my head once in clear assent.

No tears from either of us, even when she walks away, leaving me on the bench alone.

That is when I allow one tear to slip. Then another. And another. I begin to sob softly and clasp a hand over my mouth. I move to rest my elbows on my lap to bury my face in my hands.

I truly love Sabina and it may take a lot of time for me to get over someone like her. I thought she imagined our life together in the long run.

She definitely imagined spending her whole entire life with someone. The catch is I'm not in the picture. I never was.

Because I was never seen by her in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love me some angst. And maybe, a picture of something that could happen in reality. Scary and heartbreaking.

I hope that in some way or another you enjoyed this one!