Infrunami

50

KEHLANI

Walking downstairs and seeing Amir sleep on the couch was the funniest thing ever. I know he was uncomfortable and I didn't feel bad at all.

I do think sleeping alone bothered me a little more than him though. Having him next to me whilst we sleep is something I never want.

He's a light sleeper so he starts to wake up but I creep into the kitchen but he calls my name out in that raspy morning voice of his.

Escape failed.

I turn slowly and he's eyeing me before he squints. I squint back and he sucks his teeth.

"What do you need?" I ask him and he sighs. "I can't call your name no more?"

"No, you can't." I reply bluntly. I walk into the kitchen and he's following me. He's just in his boxers and I can't help but look.

Morning wood.

"Let me talk to you. Right now." He says and I wish we could speak about this later.

"I'm not mad at you, you will always react this way when something happens to people you love and there's nothing I can do to stop that. But either way you really upset the fuck out of me yesterday and you broke your promise so you're in the dog house."

"I feel like I have to do all this shit, I have to get these people out of our lives so they're aren't a issue in our future. I don't want to have a family with you and niggas from sugarhill that had beef with me over some dumb shit decide to hurt you or me. Like you said, I lost too much people and i'm so scared to lose more. When I saw Niyah hurt I just knew- I knew it was him. I didn't mean to act out in that way I just hated seeing her hurt. I didn't do anything when Curtis was so I can't stand by and watch someone else I love be again, I can't. I refuse." He explains.

I throw him into a hug and I wrap around him tightly and so does he.

"I know I won't ever fully understand but I get it. I thought you was just angry and selfish but I get it. I'm sorry I threatened to keep our baby away from you, I would never." I say, still wrapped around him.

"We both know I wasn't letting that shit happening anyway," He starts and I roll my eyes.

"Did you kill Jason?" I ask him and he lets go, looking at me.

"He's not dead. I just fucked him up a little. I'm not leaving you alone to do shit like this again, I love you with my heart." He says and I feel like he said it to me for the first time again.

"I love you too, you're still in the doghouse though." I say before kissing his cheek.

"We'll see how long that lasts." He chuckles to himself before walking out of that kitchen.

He thinks this is a joke.

"Wait Amir," He turns back as soon as I call his name. "When did you know you loved me?" He smiles at the question and so do I.

"When you wanted to wait for me as soon as I got my sentence. I knew you was the one. But I loved you so much I had to let you go because it wouldn't have benefitted you in anyway." He explains.

"If only I knew you would be back out in ten months, we could've saved a lot of time." I chuckle and so does he.

"What about you?"

"I always knew I loved you when I decided I wanted to wait for you but I only really realised it when you somehow was back in my bed and the morning that I left. You don't know how much I didn't want to leave, I cried a lot after that to be honest with you." I say and he's smiling again.

"I'm not joking when I say i'm going to marry you." He says and I chuckle.

"I know."

AMIR

Jason was dead. Officially. I didn't kill him but he refused to go to the hospital and ended up overdosing.

What a dumbass way to leave the Earth.

Jason's dad was a addict too so I guess it ran in the family. Jason was dealing and taking drugs from age of 15 so it wasn't a surprise.

Me, Darrel and Kasey were fixing shit in Niyah's studio. I was going to look for a new one regardless but this was only temporary because Niyah did get hella customers.

Since she started doing Kehlani's hair and she's been promoting it, Niyah was always busy with somebody's head.

"You know some nigga called Dion?" Kasey asks and I nod. Unfortunately I do. "I think Za is starting to fuck with him."

"The fuck that has to do with us?" Darrel asks which makes the both of us laugh. We all know Kasey has a crush on Zariah and it hurts him more that Za don't give a fuck about what he does.

"That's why you don't fuck with your business partner." I chime in.

"Didnt Dion fuck your girl now he's working for you?" He retorts which pisses me the fuck off.

"Disrespect my girl again." I stand up but Darrel's tiny ass magically pulls me back.

"Ain't no good is gonna come out of this fighting shit, Kasey just apologise that shit was out of pocket." Darrel sighs, being the adult of the group right now.

"Hey my bad man I just hate when y'all say this shit." He says with raised arms.

"They didn't even fuck." I reply but then all three of us slowly start laughing.

"But for real, you don't get mad at that shit?" Darrel asks me.

"I was facing nearly five years in jail and she was down to wait for a nigga and we ain't even say I love you yet so nah I don't get mad. I put her through a lot and she still showed me mad loyalty, I kind of deserved it." I say truthfully.

"I respect that." Kasey says. "You think you ever gonna find someone soon? When's the last time you even got some pussy?"

"I mean I was a bum but every once in a while i'd get some baby mama makeup sex or old flings but honestly after Sierra died I just got scared. I won't say I won't ever fuck again but i'm scared of having another child." He explains.

I liked 'bro talks' like this, where we could all be vulnerable with each other. We had talks like this every once in a while and this shit helped I won't lie.

"You scared of not being able to protect that child or scared of the guilt that comes with having another child whilst Sierra is dead?" I ask him.

"The guilt will eat me up," He says and we all exchange a look before laughing. He definitely used the wrong words.

"You made it gay man. But anyways, it's the guilt. I'll be showing all this love to a new child and I don't think I can do that."

"I hope for your own well-being, you do and you heal but only when you're ready. I don't have kids yet so I don't understand what you're going through right now but you know we got you whenever." Kasey says before dapping him up.

"Probably the realest shit that's ever came out of your mouth nigga." I tease but Kasey only laughs it off.

I step onto a piece of glass and I pick it up but it cuts my hand fairly deep.

"Shit." I mumble to myself, looking at the blood that was quickly leaking. "I'm gonna get some napkins out the car." I tell the boys and they both nod before continuing their job.

I jog to the car and open the door. I reach in to grab the napkins but before my head is fully out the car, I feel something hard against my ribs.

I hear the gun cock and I immediately sigh. I make a quick prayer for Kehlani and my child before slowly ducking my head out the car fully.

I don't dare to turn because I want to make it to my two babies tonight. Sounds come out of his mouth but I only think about what my baby may look like.

What the gender is.

When it's born.

When it grows up.

Then I hear the gunshot and everything turns black.

I just hope my baby will be okay.