Infrunami

63

AMIR

"You gonna go right now or smoke this shit with me real quick?" I ask her, pulling my lighter out.

"I won't smoke but i'll sit with you." She speaks small and I nod in return. We was outside her mother's house to pick up Ajani who stayed there for the night.

Her mom had a obsession with our baby which I admired a lot because my mom couldn't have the same relationship with my son. Not whilst that nigga was in her house, hell nah.

"Can we go to the back?" I ask her and she makes a confused face. "Not to fuck or nothing I just want to lay with you."

We both get out the car and make our way into the backseat with little effort. Me, laying down and her smaller body compared to me on top of mine.

I stroke her back with one hand as I use the other to hold the blunt, taking two long puffs from it. She watches my every move, looking so fucking beautiful doing so.

"I'm in love with you Amir." She speaks seriously, looking down into my eyes. "Did you really think I set you up?"

"Darrel did," I admit before starting again. "He was talking crazy 'bout you and we fought because of it. I was in that cell for way too fucking long, away from you and Ajani for way too fucking long and I was just thinking,"

"I know you would've never done that but I let Darrel get into my head, I was going insane thinking about. I was just angry and paranoid and I took out on you." I express to her.

"Remember when you told me that you thought you had PTSD?" She brings up and I internally sigh. I've been to check up on it but i'd be scared of the answer.

"Honestly, I don't want to check. I'm kind of scared and ashamed to ask for help." I reply, blowing smoke away from her into the air.

"Why? There's nothing wrong with you getting help?"

"Two different backgrounds 'Lani. Niggas don't go to therapy in Sugarhill, we just deal with it regardless of how much emotional impact it has on our relationships." I reply.

"You know when I met you, you hated that place, you didn't want anything to do with it but I feel like you're starting to let it define who you are now,"

"Of course I would never understand, we both know that but that's just how I feel." She replies.

"I tried to escape from my past and it didn't work, for as long as I live people, it will haunt me. After Sierra died I realised that I will always have issues as a consequence of what I have done,"

"I don't want you to be scared or nothing because you and our baby will always be good, regardless. I'm just telling you the facts. You not scared right?" I turn to her.

"Not for me, scared for you. I always feel uneasy whenever you leave or you don't answer my call earlier than i'd liked but I can deal with it because I love you." She replies.

"We could always move to Japan and start a new life there or some shit and change our names and get normal working jobs and shit." I bring up and she starts laughing.

"But for real Amir, you're going to get it checked out?" She brings back up and I sigh before nodding. I bring her face to mine before kissing her deeply.

"I'm in love with you too ma." I tell her and she smiles, a genuine smile. The same smile I haven't seen in a few days now.

"Let me go get our son." She says, trying to get up but I wrap my arms around our hips, pulling her down.

"Aye five more minutes," I plead, licking my lips. "Please, damn?"

"Make sure the blunt is out because I won't be long." She replies, lifting her body up from my chest completely so she's straddling me now.

"Gotdamn." I grit, licking my lips, putting my hands around her to grab her ass. She realises what i'm doing before smacking her lips causing me to laugh.

"Outside my mom's house is crazyyyy." She shakes her head before opening the car door, getting completely out.

I follow her out, throwing the remains of the blunt on the floor. I get back into the drivers seat and watch as she gets inside the house.

I feel my phone ringing and it's Kano. I didn't really want to speak to any of them niggas right now, they were just pulled out of my mind.

"What's good Kane?"

"I heard what happened bro, you good?" He asks me and I sigh. Niyah was in the hospital, fighting for her life because of me and the doctors couldn't do shit about it.

"I'm cool." I reply, keeping it blunt and short, There's nothing more that I could've said anyway.

"What you wanna do then? We know you're not cool."

"45k to whoever puts down three niggas from Sugarhill, 15k for each body." I tell him before declining the call.

(Not realistic I know, no one would say that over the phone but this is a wattpad book so🤷🏽‍♀️)

"Husband." Kehlani calls out, poking me with her finger. I look up to her and she pokes my face again.

"Damn what?" I ask her and she jerks her head back dramatically. "Alright my bad my bad, what's wrong 'Lani?"

"I love you, you know that?" She says in a specific tone causing me to chuckle. I know this girl so well.

"What do you want?"

"Ice cream please." She says and I nod before getting up and walking into the kitchen. I check the freezer but there was none there, meaning it was finished.

I just got her a tub like last week.

"There's no more but I can go get you some right now." I tell her, walking back into the kitchen.

"It's fine, never mind." She replies but you can tell she wasn't fine at all. When she got a craving, she wanted whatever it was in the moment or else she would be aggy.

"Yeah whatever, i'm going to go get it for you." I tell her before leaning over the couch to kiss her lips and she smiles.

"Thank you handsome." She replies causing me to chuckle.

I liked late night drives so I used to the excuse to take one. Coincidentally, I ended up nearing to the hospital so I decided to see Niyah.

I haven't seen her yet but only a glimpse of her on that hospital bed, all types of tubes tied and plucked inside of her.

And it was the same as now. Relying on all of these machines to keep her alive and it was breaking my heart.

It hurt even more because I knew it was because of me, because of the stupid shit I did when I was younger, because of the area I was raised in and how badly I was raised.

"This feels weird talking to you but doc' said that you might be able to hear and that words of encouragement could help you wake up and shit." I say but it felt forced.

I take a deep breath before putting her hand in mine and starting again.

"You've been my little sister, i've never seen you as something else. I've always supported you and vice versa. I know I ain't been the best family member, I know I barely see you guys but the love I got for you guys, shit for you, has never changed. I don't want this to sound like a goodbye or a funeral speech because you're gonna wake up healthier and happier and get right back to doing your hair and partying and shopping and everything else you should be doing right now...I miss you Niyah damn." I finish, crying by the end of it.

I hear the door creak and I immediately turn to see my dad standing in the doorway, tears in his eyes too. I've never seen my dad cry before.

He's always told me that I should never cry which i'm guessing sprouted from his own father. Even when his brother died, he stayed strong and firm like he always were.

I stand, ready to leave hurt by whatever he has to say or do but he just walks closer towards me. Awkwardly, he pulls me into a embrace but I don't fight it.

I kind of liked the comfort.

"Son...I am so sorry." He admits, hugging me fully. I hug him back and soon enough I hear his quiet sobs. The feeling was unfamiliar but genuine.

I needed it.