Infrunami

53

AMIR

I didn't miss New York, if it were up to me I wouldn't be back in here. Me and my two babies would be in LA but anything for her.

We've been here once during those few months for the funeral and we only stayed two days before going back.

Kehlani got homesick and the paparazzi in LA was crazy, they could find you anywhere. Kieron was a unstable mess and she wanted to comfort her mom.

Although she didn't want to admit it, she wanted to move back and seeing her this morning proved it. She was in a very, very good mood and she wasn't a morning person at all.

I stare at her as she raps the song to me, throwing up some fake ass gang signs that do not exist at all. Kehlani didn't listen to no SZA, that was me.

She listened to rap and drill which was so funny to me. Like what woman on this Earth does that?

"I love you, so much." She says before kissing me. I try to reach in but she pulls back, laughing. My phone rings again but I turn it around and she gives me a look.

"You can check it, it's probably Zariah." I reply but she brushes it off. She trusts me and she has every reason to.

I pull her arm back to kiss her again but she pulls away. How you gonna start something you can't finish?

"Stop playing with me." I say, sucking my teeth. She grabs my plate and hers and walks over to the sink to start washing it. My phone blows up with three notifications but they're ignored.

I take it as a chance to annoy her because that's what I do best. I hump her twice and she pushes me off, mad hard.

What a demon.

"Why are you such a strong woman?" I ask her and she only laughs. I bite her arm and she glares at me.

"Why would you bite me Amir?" She says, looking down at her moist arm.

The phone goes off again.

"Let me bite that pussy too, please and thank you." I reply and she rolls her eyes. My phone rings for the hundredth time and she indicates that I should answer it.

"Man whatttt?" I stretch agitated now, picking up the phone quickly. I didn't even check who it was.

"Damn who annoyed you?" Darrel asks, chuckling through the phone like shit is funny.

"You keep fucking calling."

"Alex is in New York." He says and I stop in silence for a while. Kehlani turns to me but she doesn't say anything.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just know she's back. She wants to see all of us again." He says and before I can respond he ends the call.
Niggas don't know how to say bye?

"Are you okay?" Kehlani asks me and I nod before sitting back down. She stares at me and for the first time, it's kind of awkward between us.

"Baby.." She mumbles and I scrunch my face up in confusion. "I think my water just broke."
I stand up quickly before we both realise it's something else that's leaking.

"You're bleeding Kehlani." I whisper and she looks up in fear.

"The baby, my baby!" She starts to hold her stomach, screaming and I move quick to get us into the car.

Placenta abruption, high percentage of losing the baby, danger. All of these words were playing in my mind, I was so confused.

She was healthy, they were healthy. They were fine. Darrel's right besides me but he's not saying much, why would he?

I didn't want him to come, God forbid if I lost my baby it would probably make it worse for him too.

I make a silent prayer, bowing my head down in my seat and I hear Darrel shuffling so i'm guessing he has joined me.

I finish with a 'amen' and he does the same. I wish I could be in the room with her, holding her hand. Helping her through this.

I didn't know what was going on, I just knew that my baby was being deprived of oxygen and their life was in danger.

That's all I took from the speech the doctor gave me.

I wanted to keep calm, think positively. Darrel whispered something to me but I wasn't bothered to hear it.

He pat my arm before standing up to go somewhere. I hear Teyana's voice and there she is, jogging towards me.

"Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" Kehlani's mom asks causing me to look up.

"Something about her placenta, I don't know. The baby doesn't have enough oxygen and nutrients anymore, it all happened so fast, I don't know what's going on." I say, my voice cracking, on the verge of tears now.

"I had preeclampsia, my pregnancy with Kieron was very hard and I went through the same thing. It's when the placenta detaches from the inner wall of the uterus." She explains, sitting next to me.

"Did she get it from you or something?"

"I'm not sure, but I know I suffered and still gave birth to two beautiful babies, Kehlani and your child will be perfectly fine, I promise." She replies which gives me a lot of hope.

"I just want to see her, both of them." I sigh, looking at the floor now. I wasn't a prideful man but I sure didn't want to start crying in front of my fiancés mother.

Darrel comes back with a cup of coffee and greets Teyana with a hug. The interaction made me smile because Teyana was always so nice to everybody.

The first time i've smiled since- I don't know, it's been hours. I missed her, a lot.

The doctor walks back into the lobby, with a look of regret on his face. Please God, don't do this. I tried to prepare myself for the answer but it was too quick.

"You- you can see her now." He mutters before walking me to the room. I thought the others would follow behind but they didn't and I was slightly grateful for it.

I look into the window and she's not even crying, she's just sitting there. No expression on her face. I see no sign of a baby and my heart sinks.

I walk in and as soon as she sees me she starts to cry. Oh my baby.

I sit besides her and I hold her tightly before I ask questions. She sobs recklessly in my arms, holding me close into her.

"I'm sorry." She whispers but I don't reply, I just hold her until she's quiet. She looks up and her eyes are heavy and red.

"I held her, she was so beautiful. She had so much hair Amir." She speaks again and I start to smile, trying to think about our baby.

"Who did she look like?"

"Like you, nothing like me. She was so beautiful." She repeats. "I'm so sorry Amir."

"It wasn't your fault, I love you and I will always be by your side, that isn't changing." I reply before kissing her forehead. Her beating herself up about it wasn't making it better for me.

For anyone.

I held back tears because I knew it would hurt her more so I stayed strong for her.

She didn't say anything, there was nothing else left to say. We sat in silence and that's how it was for the rest of the night.