Edge of Reasons.

chapter-18.

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-------------------------------------Song- Why not me (Enrique)--------------------------------------------

*The day couldn't get any worse*

''EMILY!'' HE SHOUTED FOR the sixth time.

I could not respond to the voice I had known all my life, the voice I could recognize anywhere.

He grabbed my shoulder and moved me,''Emily! Please?'' The voice grew desperate as if on the verge of crying, even I wanted to cry but I had grew hard enough over the years to not do so.

''I-II--Ian.'' I finally said it. He looked at me with such a sad expression that I couldn't say the rest of the sentence.

I looked into his blue eyes,''I am in love with Ben.'' and his eyes looked torn, I am such a horrible person!

All the cockiness and the over confidence vanished, he looked very vulnerable and I couldn't recognise this Ian and the fact that I had done this to him was killing me.

You are getting a tad bit too much melo.

Shut the hell up!

I got up from the stone I was sitting on and towered Ian who was still sitting with a blank expression,''I--We cannot be friends when we don't have mutual feelings for each other.'' the agony potent in my voice.

He looked at me once and said in rather a clear voice,''If that's what you want. Okay.'' and stormed off the backyard.

That went well !

And just like that our seventeen year friendship came to an end.

I went to my house feeling deflated, why the hell did he have to make things complicated? I can't imagine my life without the his constant moronic presence. The only question that came to my mind was WHY?

''Can we meet Ben?'' I asked him while chewing bread, I could hear him shout at someone for being noisy and not giving him peace.

''Sorry, didn't get you?'' He replied back with a detectable Canadian accent, I giggled.

''What's so funny?'' He asked knowingly. I chewed the last piece quickly.

''Can we meet?'' I asked again,''Sure will be at your doorsteps, ma'am.'' He sounded happy and I giggled some more and hung up.

I was feeling very lonely and wanted to talk to someone, Ashley was 'busy' with Bryan and so,I had to call Ben.

To be honest, I was quiet hesitant to tell Ben about me and Ian because people usually don't get our relationship, especially since Ian told me about his feelings. I was not prepared for Ben's reaction, I knew Ashley would say- I knew it! But, I wasn't sure about Ben's.

I cleaned and tidied my room a bit, making it look habitable.

Woah! Are you okay?

Please,just shut up!!

I glanced at the window of Ian's room once before going out of my room and cleaning up the downstairs, his window was shut tight and the curtains were down. I would never get to talk to him again! This thought was terrifying and rose nausea in my stomach.

I went out down cleaned around the house, not allowing Ian to flood my thoughts, it was difficult but I managed by talking to dirt and clothes.

Weird?! No. You need a better word.