Achieving Unbroken

-Chapter 13-

Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Thirteen

-

"Hang my head, drown my fear;
'Till you all just disappear"
Black Hole Sun | Soundgarden

-

Jason
[Sunday, May 1st, 2017]

A fist softly knocks on my door for the sixth time today. I don't get up, I don't even hum in response. I sit, in my deafening, crushing silence, and wish for everyone to let me bath in it.

"Jay- Jason," Mom says so quiet that it could be considered a whisper. "Cannon is here to see you."

My silence holds.

"Can, um, can he come in? He would like to talk to you." The sound of her trying to discreetly turn my doorknob stands out among the quiet. She fails; I locked my door.

I don't want visitors. What does it take for people to understand that?

Only one pair of feet humbly walk away from my door. I assume that Cannon is still standing there.

"Hey, Oakland," he strangles out. I don't think he expects a response, which is good; he knows I won't give one to him. "I, uh- there's been talk about your brother. Nothing bad, just, like, what happened. But nobody knows the real story. It sounds pretty bad."

Yeah, Fireball, it was. It was really bad. Worse than anyone can ever tell you, because they weren't there. You weren't, either.

Just me.

And all I can do, is stare at my wall, with dried tears in my eyes, and a broken voice.

"You haven't been at school this week," he continues. "You obviously know that. But I brought you the work you've missed. Your teachers send their best wishes."

You're too good, Cannon.

My eyes squeeze shut as new tears cover the old ones. They leave my lids despite my efforts, and stream down my face like it's a window pane.

"There's also notes from the teachers on how to do everything and what they've done this week. Also what units and lessons are coming next. I don't think they expect you back anytime soon."

My fists clench. In, out, in, out, in. They curl in the bedsheet that is splayed around me, halfway off of the bed after another shitty nights sleep.

"I heard Coach saying that he hopes you stay with football," Cannon goes on. "I don't think he knows the severity of what happened to you. What happened to Joey." He takes a long, deep breath. "You probably aren't coming back to football. The guys and I know that. We just wish you could talk to us. But it's understandable that you can't right now."

I push my face into the pillow more. I need Cannon to leave. Now. Stretching my arm, I reach a book on the floor of my bedroom, and fling it at the door. I don't look to see if it directly hits my target or not, but I hear a loud thump as it hits the wall. Cannon lets out a long, loud sigh.