Achieving Unbroken

-Chapter 22-

Achieving Unbroken
Chapter Twenty Two

—

"What did I do?
'Cause every time I turn around I'm back down to one,
Tell me why if feels like I'm still on the run"
Good News | Ocean Park Standoff

—

Jason
[Monday, May 20th, 2018 - After School]

The door slams shut behind me as I walk into my moms' apartment. Mama is hunched over the counter, scrolling through her phone with a blank look on her face and a full plate of food next to her. I frown.

"Hey, Mama," I approach her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She snaps up, like she hadn't realized I had come home, and gives me a small smile.

"Hi, Love."

I roam to the other side of her and gesture to the perfect sandwich on the plate to her left.

"Why haven't you eaten?" She looks caught, and tries to laugh it off.

"Oh, gosh, I didn't even realize that was there. I just got really distracted, is all. Theresa was texting me and asking if she could have a day off next week, and I got lost from there. You know me and my phone addiction," she pulls the plate towards her and lifts the sandwich to take a bite, but after she does, she pulls back. "Hm. It's cold now. I'll throw it in the microwave and get some water."

Mama picks the plate up with two hands and tries to walk around the kitchen island to the microwave, but sways a little, and ends up resting the plate on the counter again. Her hands clutch the edge of the counter for support, while I rush over and grab her lightly by the elbow, ready to hold her up. It's in this position that I can really see how sunken in her eyes are, and the grayish hue that her skin has taken. Her hair is wispy and thin.

"Mama," I mumble. "Have you eaten today at all?"

She lifts her head to look at me. Her eyes are filled with regret and the corners of her lips are pulled down.

"I may have forgotten breakfast," she admits. Just as I am about to reprimand her, she interrupts. "There was an emergency at the cafe, I needed to monitor some orders coming in, and—"

"And you own a goddamn cafe, you couldn't have had Jeff make you an egg?"

"—And then there were order forms that I left here and had to pick up, and on my way back I brought the girls to school, and then I hung around the cafe to make sure everything was running smoothly. I just forgot."

"You've been forgetting for awhile, Mama," I say through gritted teeth. "And God knows what Mom has been doing! Willow better make sure that she's ordering breakfast, lunch and dinner for Mom while she's holing herself up in that office."

"Your mother has been working very hard, Jason, and I understand that it's been hard that she hasn't been home as much, but—"

"'But that's her coping method', I know. You've told me. I just..." I try to think of how to put this without sounding heartless. "You guys felt the loss. And you felt it hard. I did too. And you know what? I'm trying to make my peace with it. I'm confronting the issue head-on, in favor of avoiding my family, starving myself or turning myself into an asshole. I just wish that you and Mom could do the same. There's still three kids in this family and two of them are little girls who are here full time and are having their brother painting their nails and helping them with their hair instead of their moms. I want you and Mom to make peace with it yourself."