"God your eyes are so beautiful it actually hurts me to look at them because I know at some point I will have to look away," she snaps her attention over to me, which is when I realise I just said that out loud.
*TRIGGER WARNING* - anxiety attacks...
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"Maggie called, she said we should come back to the tour bus now, apparently Billie is making her way there, she called maggie and told er she went to the shop, so from what I can gather maggie knows nothing," Lila says sliding her phone into her pocket, as I stand up, feeling only pain.
"We shouldn't stay on the tour bus, we can take the next flight home tomorrow," Dani said and everyone agreed except me.
"I can't," I say the first words I have spoken in a while, my voice raspy from screams. "I signed a contract, I have to stay on the tour," I stare blankly ahead of me, as I can feel other eyes on me.
"Lila and Dani will walk you back, I will take him to a hotel," Isaac points as ELI who at this point is asleep on the ground.
Lila and Dani walk either side of me, I have to persuade them that I can walk fine so they don't hold me. As the parked bus comes into sight, I see Billie a few meters ahead. "guys I'm good from here thank you for everything," I say weakly hugging them both.
"be safe," Lila says as they walk away. I run so I am Just behind Billie
"I said go home," she scolds, not turning around still heading towards the bus.
"Billie please just down around," I say tears once again spilling over my face. she doesn't turn but does stop just as she is about to enter the bus, I grab her wrist and she spins, she looks me right in the eyes, "just listen to what I have to say," I say weakly, "please," I add sound barley leaving my mouth.
"I never want to see you again, leave"
"Billie," I say as she storms into the bus and I hear people talking and Billie telling them to fuck off. I step one foot onto the bus and realize I can't do it. I can't be here if Billie really doesn't want me, I can't have another person leave and have to see them every day to rub it in my face.
once again my knees too familiarly give way as I grab the hands rail, let out I silent cry. "Rory, oh my God," Finneas says, seeing me and running over helping me up onto the bus. "can you make it up to the living room?" he asks as I give him a small nod and follow him up. I fall onto the sofa, crying nothing, all my tears had been used up.
"Rory what's wrong, what happened between you and Billie," I can't tell him everything, I'm not able to.
"it wasn't my fault, I know it looks like it, I know how bad it looks, but,"
"But what," he seems confused, but confused in a way that he doesn't want me to tell him if I don't want to.
"He wouldn't let me go, it wasn't my fault, but I have to tell her, not you, I have to,"
"Okay," he said walking out of the room leaving me confused. A few minutes passed and the bus started moving.
"here," he came back in passing me a blanket and some hot chocolate. "It will be okay, you can sleep on the couch tonight, I'm guessing you won't want to be by Billie," I don't answer him, instead I sip at my drink as he puts the TV on and we sit in a comfortable silence, a silence where the only noise is the last intact pieces fall and shatter into a million pieces.
"Finneas," I whisper.
"yeah?"
"Please you have to believe me, you have to," I reach down to put my cup on the table and my sleeve moves up, Finneas's eyes dart to my arm and back to my face, suprise in his eyes. "what?" I ask.
"you arm, look at it," I pull up my sleeve revealing bruises from where Eli had held me. "don't tell anyone," I look back up at Finneas "Promise me," I say to him, almost as a warning.
"I Promise," he struggles to say it but does.
"thank you," I say, tracing the bruises with my fingers, slightly wincing in pain.
