"God your eyes are so beautiful it actually hurts me to look at them because I know at some point I will have to look away," she snaps her attention over to me, which is when I realise I just said that out loud.
*TRIGGER WARNING* - anxiety attacks...
(All of you have to go listen to sweater weather by the neighbourhood for no other reason than the fact the song is crazy amazing........ do it now.... or else)
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Billie's P.O.V
I pick up the letter, that was left on my bunk, I take it down to the recording studio where I open it, tracing my fingers over the tear stains.
Billie,
I know you don't want to hear this, and I understand that but please I beg you just read the letter, and if you still want me to go home I will, I will go as soon as you tell me to.
Eli was right when he said it wasn't the first time, but it's still not like that so I will take you back to the first time. It was after I was at your house, the day after the party and I was upset because I realized I liked you and I thought you didn't like me back. I was walking home, and Eli passed me in his car and offered me a ride. when we got back to my apartment he kissed me and I pushed him away because even though I thought you didn't like me, I still wanted you Billie, not Eli, You.
The second time was at the chocolate factory, everyone was in the gift shop, and Eli asked me to come talk to him. He kissed me again, but this time he didn't let me push him away, and I swear I tried my hardest Billie. I didn't tell you because he is one of your best friends, you were having such I good time and I didn't think it would happen again so I tried my best to ignore it.
And then it happened again at the club, and you know the rest.
I miss you, Billie, I miss you like hell. But I understand if you hate my guts, or just don't care. I just need you to know that I care about you, I really do and I don't want anyone else in the world but you.
Rory
I sniffled, wiping away my tears if only I had listened to her earlier. But I don't know, what happens if I break her again but worse, my actions made her physically ill, I can't ever risk doing that to her again.
I check the time on my phone,
4:39 a.m
I should probably go to bed, I think heading up to my bunk. I walk up the stairs, and everything is completely silent. The door to the living room is slightly cracked open, and I walk over to shut it, as I reach out and grab the handle, the feel the urge to go inside, and I can't fight it poke my head around the door. Rory is curled up in a ball asleep.
I walk in and sit next to her I just stare at her for a while. I know it wasn't her fault, but at the same time, I don't want to forgive her, I'm scared I will hurt her. I move a piece of her hair out of her face, away from her tear-stained cheeks. she stirs, but I don't move.
Rory's P.O.V
I open my eyes slightly, greeted by darkness, I turn over, and the scent of vanilla surrounds me. At first, I ignore it, it's probably just my brain playing tricks on me I think. but then I hear a shuffle, I sit up slightly "Billie," a whisper at a volume that is almost non-existent.
"Rory," she replies, I squint confused, reaching for the lamp, turning it on, yellow light spilling into the room.
"Billie why are you here, sitting next to me," I cut straight to the point, my voice is strained.
"I read the letter," she says, not making eye contact with me, I want to feel happy, but she doesn't seem it.
"and?" I ask, fearing the answer and you can tell it in my voice.
"I don't want to break you, you mean so much to me, and I can't do this too you, I can't drag you around everywhere because you are a real person, and you should be able to live a real person life," she chokes at the end.
I sit back and stare at the wall in front of me. "that's not fair,"
"Why?" she asks almost as if it isn't even a question.
"that's not your choice to make, can't you see that, its not your choice. If I have to give up every other aspect of my life to be with you, I will do that, and if I chose to do so it's my choice, not yours," my voice gets slightly louder, tears falling where they have so many times before.
"well it's not your choice, you're going home," she says bitterly but I can see in her eyes she feels something different. she stands up to leave,
"Billie?"
"what,"
"Billie I-
A/N
major cliff hanger here but sorrynotsorry, and the cliff hanger is here because i know that not all of you will have listened to sweater weather like I told you too, so to those people who didn't you better do it now...
