[56 | Round Two]
"I'm going to miss you," I say as I hug Lila goodbye.
"I know I will miss you too, but it's only a month," I smile slightly. I was leaving my apartment to go to Billie's where we would start the tour around the states.
***
I knock on the door to Billie's house, and Maggie opens it. "Hi, Maggie," I smile as she helps me take in my bags.
"Billie is in her room, she's sot of sad, she doesn't really want to leave again," she looks down at her feet, and I immediately feel bad
"You know its not your fault though Maggie, you aren't forcing her to do this, and she does love it, and once we get on the road it will be fine, just don't blame yourself," I too look down at my feet, suddenly worried I have overstepped the line.
"Thank you, Rory, it means a lot, and if you weren't here, I can't imagine how much worse this whole situation would be. I smile at her, and I then walk over to Billie's room, slowly, seeing the red light from spilling out under the little gap in her door.
I lightly tap on the door, before twisting the door handle and slowly open the door, revealing Billie curled up on her bed, watching the office on her MacBook. "Hey," I say, sitting down on the bed next to her, shes keeps her eyes glued on the screen as if she was a zombie. I lean over and kiss her on the head, and I see her eyes turn glossy. "I love you, Billie, okay, and I'm coming on tour with you the entire time Billie, you aren't alone okay,"
"Dinner!" we hear Maggie call, and we go an sit around the table.
"Hi Fin," I say to him as he too joins everyone.
"Hey, Rory," he smiles back, and his eyes dart over to Billie, who is staring blank, at the wall.
We all eat in complete in silence, and Billie doesn't touch her food, every now and again we will all exchange worried looks, and then our attention snaps back to Billie. After a while, her head falls to look at her lap, and I see tears pouring, as she stands and walks into her room.
we all look at each other, not knowing what to do "I'm going to go to her, thank you for the food Maggie," I stand up and walk over to her room, and knock on the door. she doesn't answer, so I open the door. she is sitting on the floor in the corner of her room, curled in a ball; tears streaming down her face. "Billie," I say rushing over to sit next to her. "I'm sorry," she says in between deep shaky breaths, "I just don't... I don't want to leave, I sound like a spoiled bitch," she refuses to meet her eyes with mine, as her breathing gets faster, and tears continue to stream.
"It's okay Billie, you don't have to love every second of your life, and don't feel bad if you don't," I use my sleeve to wipe away some of her tears. "But Billie, you have to slow your breathing down okay," I start to worry.
"I..." she stands up and rushes out her room as I follow her into the bathroom, she falls in front of the toilet and throws up, and I grab her hair out of her face. i run small circles on her back as Finneas comes in holding a glass of water for Billie. she sits with her back against the bathtub and wipes her mouth slightly. "I'm sorry," she says, at just a whisper. Finneas and I are sat either side of her, and we sit in silence when Pepper comes in and sits in front Billie.
After sitting there for a while, its, late, and I'm trying not to fall asleep. "Billie, I think we should go to bed, it's late, and we have to get up early tomorrow okay?" I ask and she doesn't answer so Finneas and I help her up, and we walk into her room, and Finneas goes to his.
we both sit on the bet, and she lays her head on her chest and I stroke her hair, losing my eyes, and falling asleep quickly.
A/N
this was sort of inspired by the rolling stones article
YOU ARE READING
ANXIETY // BILLIE EILISH // COMPLETED
Fanfiction"God your eyes are so beautiful it actually hurts me to look at them because I know at some point I will have to look away," she snaps her attention over to me, which is when I realise I just said that out loud. *TRIGGER WARNING* - anxiety attacks...
