[MTV | Awards pt1]
"Oh my god oh my god," I whisper under my breath as I pace around the tour bus.
"Are you okay sweetie," Maggie asks placing a hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just nervous about the award show tonight. I've never done anything like this, I'm not used to being in the spotlight, I might be on tv, if she wins, what am I saying of course she will win she's perfect," I abruptly stop, suddenly realising I have just gone on a whole rant in-front if Maggie and Finneas. My cheeks head up and I stare down at my feet. I here finneas chuckle slightly and Maggie just squeezes my shoulder a little.
"Yo," Billie says walking into the room, a bag of takis in her hand. "You guys ready, driver says we are basically there,"
"Yeah," I say giving here a fake smile. I just didn't want to ruin today for her, it would be selfish, and Billie deserves this day to relax and have fun.
We all climb off the bus and there are already people walking around everywhere, and it's hours before the awards even start. I clench my jaw a little l, feeling anxious.
We walk into the room we have to get ready, it is big with lighted mirrors and dressing rooms, the carpet is red and the walls are cream with some kind of gold leaf decoration. "Wow," I say looking at all the details of the room, trying to take in the hours it must have taken to construct it.
"Dude, what's up with you? Why are you so interested in the room, you seem off?" Billie asks concerned.
"I'm just a little nervous, it's fine, I just haven't done this before," I bite my lip feeling stupid, Billie does these kind of things everyday of her life and I am fussing over it.
"Don't worry," and sits down on a chair and I do the same "when I first starting doing interviews, no one told me what to do so I would be so bubble and giggly when I really wasn't like that at all, so i basically just looked real stupid," she says cringing a little thinking of herself at that age.
"Well look where you are now, it obviously worked," we both laughed when Maggie walked into the room followed by a woman trailing along a rack of outfits with our clothes on.
We walked over to the rail and we all picked off the outfits with our name labels. Billie wore a T-shirt and shorts, nothing out of the ordinary for her. And I had billies merch. It sounds weird for me to be wearing her merch, but to be honest I was happy. I was already worried about this day and not having to be worried about being self conscious took a big weight off my shoulder, I also had Billie dollar bill bucket hat and one of her bandannas.
When I finished getting changed Billie was already out of her dressing room, putting her last chain around her neck. I watch her and she adjusts the chain around her neck, she is doing something so boring, yet I could still watch her do it all day.
The woman who brought in our clothes then walks back into the room, "if you could make your way backstage of the red carpet, your due to go on in fifteen minutes," she says, promptly leaving the room before she could even get a response.
me, Billie, Finneas all leave the room and head to the backstage area, where famous celebrities are walking around in every direction i turn. "Billie," i say quietly, tugging on her shirt a little as she turns to me. "what happens when we go out there?" I point to the door to the red carpet.
"um, you walk along and people will call us over or short interviews and then the second half its photos, so you just kinda pose with people i guess," she says casually, like its just a normal thing to be so famous. i know that for her it is, but it doesn't change the fact I feel physically sick at the thought of walking out onto that carpet. I know that this is a big night for Billie, she is nominated for loads of awards, and I'm certain she will win, i mean have you seen the girl? I take a deep breath and gather myself together, knowing that it's only a few hours, and i need to stay calm, for Billie.
"we're up," Finneas says as all for of us walk over to the door. A security guy then opens the door as we step out onto the red carpet. we remain still for a minute, everyone taking in the surroundings, its loud, and bright, cameras are flashing, people are talking, and fans at the back are screaming, i hadn't even been out a minute, and i wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.
"You got this," Finneas whispers in my ear, knowing how nervous i was. i gave him a small nod, as me and Billie began to walk over to a woman holding a microphone.
"Hi," Billie says to the woman.
"Hello, its great to see you here, being so young, with so many nominations," she says
"thanks, its still crazy to me, waking up every day being someone that people look up too, when once i was literally just a normal person who you wouldn't have looked twice at if you saw me in the street,"
"well, congratulations, now Rory, you are on tour with Billie, is there anything that you thought would be differnt?" she asked and i felt my cheeks heat up.
"I... Umm," i felt flustered but knew i had to compose myself, "The travel, i know it sounds stupid right, like DUH its a tour but we are always moving, all the time, it seems wierd when im asleep and im not moving now," i laugh a little, as the woman gives me a small laugh. A million thoughts run through my head, wondering what that small laugh implied, but I had to keep focused on the day.
A/N
Hiiiii i know its been a while and im sorrryyyy, but I'm back,
im procrastinating about writing beacause there are only 9 more chapters and i don't want the book to end, i just want to say thank you so so much to every one who has read this far, it really means the world to me so much more than you would know!!!!!
PLEASE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALso feel free to tell me what you would like to see in the futre I LOVE WRITING so i will write anything like
another BIllie book
Billie imagines
another fanfic / imagines of someone else ( just tell me and i will do it, think of me as your personal writer lmao) :))
i love every single one of you :)
YOU ARE READING
ANXIETY // BILLIE EILISH // COMPLETED
Fanfiction"God your eyes are so beautiful it actually hurts me to look at them because I know at some point I will have to look away," she snaps her attention over to me, which is when I realise I just said that out loud. *TRIGGER WARNING* - anxiety attacks...
