Mending Broken Hearts-2

Not Ready

I had hoped this season of Grey's was going to be better but it's not living up to that. At least in my opinion.

Mark's POV

"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" I look at my therapist, and nothing comes out. "Mark, it's important that you share what's going on in your lives. Your neurologists need to know where you sta..."

"I remember when I cheated on Gen." I blurt out. Dr. Wyatt stops and looks at me.

"What do you remember?"

"I remember that it felt too real with her. Like she was someone too good for me, and she would finally see me for what I was. A screw-up." I look at her with sadness in my eyes. "I remember comforting Addie after she and Derek had one of their biggest fights. I remember holding her and listening to her all night and...I remember kissing her. I made the first move. I initiated the cheating and...I didn't stop."

"What else?"

"I remember Gen was so excited to get her internship at Columbia Medical and...that we would still be close and...it felt like everything was caving in on me. I needed an out and...I took the worst way possible." I close my eyes.

"This is a safe space, Mark. You can tell me. I will not judge you." Dr. Wyatt assures me. I let out a big sigh.

"I had these reservations set for months knowing Gen would know her internship match. I invited her whole family and I was going to go through the night like there was nothing wrong and..." I bury my face in my hands. "I was planning to lie t her and her family just to make it through, but that didn't work."

"What happened?"

"Gen picked up one of my shirts to put into the laundry, but a card fell out. It was from the bed and breakfast place Addison and I had to a few weeks prior. Gen questioned me about the card and..." I wipe away tears. "I know she wanted to think the best of me because that's how much she loved me, but...I broke her heart that day. I told her I was seeing someone else and...I didn't know how to break things off."

"That must be a horrible thing to remember."

"I can't remember proposing to Gen when we got the call about Theo, the birth of any of our kids. I can't remember what is supposed to be the happiest moments in my life, but I continue on repeat to remember the shittest moments." I share with her.

"Have you shared any of this with Gen?"

"I don't feel the need to, but...she knows something is off with me."

"Would you like some advice?"

"Yes."

"Write it down. The good and bad. Write down all the memories when they come flooding back into your mind." Dr. Wyatt instructs me. "Writing them down will give you clarity and a chance to reconcile with the things that you cannot change."

"I'm a horrible person." I state. "The things I've done. The people I've hurt. I don't...this is what I deserve."

"Don't say that."

"I ruined my best friend's marriage. Broke Gen's heart more than once and...I don't deserve happiness."

"And that's where you are wrong." Dr. Wyatt raises her voice, causing me to look at her again. "We all make mistakes, Mark. We're human, and some of our mistakes are life-changing, but those mistakes does not mean we don't deserve happiness." She hands me a tissue. "You have done some horrible things, Mark Sloan, but you've made up with that tenfold. You are a good man Mark Sloan don't let your past make you think otherwise."