From London To Cali. (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

Why Can't I Forget?

Alright so, I haven't uploaded in a while and I apologise guys..Exams and revision has LITTERALLY taken over my life, and on that note, this chapter defitnetly ain't the best or the longest due to those exams and revision but, hopefully I'll be back on top form soon <3

Oh and Writer's Block is a B****!

One last thing...even though i'm a couple days late, i gotta say it. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY JULIAN. Can y'all believe he's 20? He's grown so much :'( 

ANYWAYS ON WITH THE STORY..

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Langston

“You make me sick…”

Her words run through my mind like a chime. I don’t know how to describe what I’m feeling, I feel numb. I feel so blank. I’ve really hurt her this time.

This pain in my head is too immense, I nearly crashed driving back home cause my mind was overcrowded with too many thoughts, all I could think about was her face and all those tears, I would do anything to put a smile back on her face. Argh.

I don’t know what to say , I don’t know what to do. Knowing that she is in her bed right now, shedding more tears over something I've done to hurt her. Maybe I’m not ready to be in a relationship, maybe she’s right…maybe I am still immature..

Or maybe I’m just in love?

What is love?

Love is so very complex… It is an unexplainable, indescribable feeling. No one can define the word love. So if no one can define it, how do you know what it is?  How do we know we are feeling it? How do you know it ain’t just a mere case of infatuation? How do we know infatuation ain’t love?

INFATUATION: a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration

Love cannot be described…People sing about love, people write about love, people talk about love, people love…love.

The most spectacular, indescribable, deep, euphoric feeling for someone.  Love is an incredibly powerful word, not to be confused with infatuation.

Love is intense, it’s passionate. It’s love.

There’s only one thing that comes to mind when I think of love.

Armani.

Armani

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I’d never been

So you put me down oh

I knew you were trouble when you walked in

So shame on me now

Flew me to places I’d never been

Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground.

Taylor Swift’s powerful lyrics woke me from my sleep, for a white girl she sure knew how to express pain.

You know when your cry so much, your head HURTS. Like it feels like its throbbing, yeah well that’s me right now. I looked down at my tear stained pillow. I don’t know how long I cried for last night…I don’t care.

I texted Tiara and Chloe this morning and told them everything about…him. Chloe told Day Day, Day Day told Julian and now Julian is coming over. I’m kind of glad he is, I really don’t want to be alone with my thoughts today. I might do something I might regret.