Undeniable Feelings (Umbrella Series #1) COMPLETED

33

Puno ng pagkamangha ang aking mata habang pinapanood ang iniidolo kong pianist. Kahit na matanda na ito't parang malabong makatugtog katulad ng dati, makikita mong walang kupas pa rin ang kanyang galing.

The people are right, even though she is old, that doesn't stop her from playing and making a concert like this. She plays gracefully and has a lot of emotions that I can feel even when I close my eyes.

She smiles happily and her eyes... you can tell how confident she is by how she sits in that chair in front of a beautiful cream brown grand piano. The spotlight is on her and she's beaming like she's really meant to be in front of that instrument that I once loved too.

As I watched her, my heart was beating fast due to the happiness I am feeling right now. This feeling that I can't feel anymore until now. I'm nervous just like how I felt the first time I played in front of a lot of audiences that I didn't even know.

There are butterflies in my belly that made me feel like I was in a new world and made me so happy like this. And now... I even imagined being like her. Sitting in front of a grand piano, playing songs worth hearing by their ears.

A tear escaped my eye.

How did I just get rid of my dream?

How did I give up easily if there are many things I can do to regain my passion for something that I once loved doing?

How?

How did I get lost because of his lies?

Tumayo ang lahat sa pagtatapos ng kanta. Maski ako'y tumayo't sumabay sa palakpakan ng mga tao na pumupuno sa loob ng theater.

Hindi ko mawari kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman sa ngayon. Ang makita lamang ng ganito ang iniidolo mong tao'y isang napakalaking regalo ngayong pasko.

Masyado akong masaya ngunit natatakot ako na baka mabilis din itong mawala maya-maya. Tumingin ako kay Fabius na nakatingin pala sa akin.

Kung kanina, puno ng ngiti ang kanyang mata... ngayon napupuno na ito ng lungkot at pag-aalala. Sa sobrang pagkakatitig ko'y hindi ko namalayang pinupunasan niya ang aking luha gamit ng isang puting panyo.

Alam kong baka masira ang simpleng make-up na aking nilagay ngunit hinayaan ko na lang. Hinayaan kong bumuhos ang luha kong pinagsamang lungkot at matinding saya.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I smiled and nodded. Binalik ko rin ang tingin ko sa stage, pilit na inaalis ang mga ala-alang paunti unti'y bumabalik na naman.

I closed my eyes for a second and opened it with full tears that I can't stop for a moment. Nakakatawa na dapat hindi ako umiiyak dahil wala namang nakakaiyak sa concert. Pero heto ako't hindi mapigilan dahil sa sobrang bigat ng aking nararamdaman.

I feel suffocated but in a good way for the moment.

▪▪▪

"Hi! What's your name?" tanong sa akin ni Ms. Martha na nakatingin sa album na aking pinapapirmahan.

I called her Ms. because she's still young in my own eyes.

"Xiomara, a pleasure to meet a great pianist like you."

Ngumiti siya't sinulat ang pangalan ko bago ito pirmahan. May mga nakaalalay sa kanya sa likod dahil nga sa katandaan na nitong parang hindi halata dahil sa kanyang mga aksiyon na ginagawa.

She smiled and handed me the album. "You're the girl who cried a while ago, right?" she asked when I got the album to her. "I've never seen anyone cry so much at my concert."